Who Wants Who's Genitalia
by Sara Beara Pumpkin
Summary: CRACK fic, sexual content. long intertwined plots between the konoha and sand ninjas. Love, sex, tricks, suprises, murder, hair, but above all humor! characters are ooc. sasunaru. DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Naruto. If I did, all the episodes would be out already by making those slackers work double time! :)**

**Special thanks to my friend Bree for endless inspiration! She helped me with Sakura.**

**This is my first story, so leave me a critique if you feel up to it ;)**

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><p><span>Chapter One, Part one: Sasuke and Lee Are Acting Weird<span>

Naruto stood with his back against a wall, arms crossed. He looks lazily into the sky. Shikamaru was somewhere else doing the same thing, not that it's relevant. Naruto was waiting for someone from the Ichiraku stand to leave so he could treat himself to a mission well done. His mouth was watering; he was so hungry.

Fssssh! Out of a tree, a shuriken! Leading straight to Naruto's unmentionables! Oh no! He was frozen. Oh hell, fucking no! Before he could react, a dark flash was before him. A finger slipped into the hole of the weapon, and the momentum of the whirl ceased. Sasuke had saved his manhood.

"You're such a loser, Naruto," said Sasuke, "and you, Lee, stop it. I know you're just jealous."

From the shadows in the tree, Lee responded, "It is not over yet." The culprit then vanished.

"Hey! What's going on?" Demanded Naruto. The throwing star was inches away.

"Lee just threw a shuriken at your junk, dobe." (Like in the nauto series, there is a flashback from the earlier part of the episode. Here, Naruto remembers Sasuke saying something about Lee being jealous.)

"Wait, you know why he attacked me?" _Was he jealous because he thought I had a big dick or something? Well, it's not small . . ._ he thought.

"Want to talk over ramen?" He motioned to two, new free seats at Ichiraku.

"Uh, oh. Sure." _What's with him? he seems kinda different somehow. And what was that about Lee? what's going on?_ Naruto wondered.

They sat down and ate. All the while Sasuke didn't say a word. Naruto tried to get an answer for his behavior, as well as Lee's, but he just said there were too many people around, and that he would tell him later. Naruto, however was stubborn to the end, and pestered him for answers at intervals in his ramen enjoyment. Naruto felt obligated to cut through his pride. So before he headed home for the night, he summoned the appropriate courage.

"Thanks for earlier. Guess I owe ya one, Sasuke," said Naruto smiling with his eyes closed. He was embarrassed. The smile was to make things less awkward.

_Perfect, thought Sasuke, Now's my chance._ "Since you bring it up, let's say you do something for me."

"wha . . . ?" He opened his eyes.

"You said you owe me. If you want to make it up to me, then come to my place tomorrow afternoon."

"mmmmh," he grunted. "What's this about, anyway?"

"You get to clean." Naruto gave him a look. "I'll also tell you what's going on."

"I have nothing better do I guess . . . ."

"Loser." Sasuke smirked.

_Wait! Clean? What did I say? Damn it, my ninja way. I never go back on my word!_ Thought Naruto.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Naruto was awake in bed. He lie there. The moonlight washed out his color. What was this feeling? He turned his head to look out the window.

Lee's eyebrows were presssed against the glass. Both shocked, hearts stopped in shock, heads twitched in shock, nostrils lifted by shock, on Lee's face, anyway.

"Bushy Brows? What are you doing creeping on me like that!"

Lee looked nervous. Beads of sweat from his forehead were absorbed by his hungry brows. "Eh . . . I just came to see for myself the aclaimed juicy bedonkadonk. Well, the results were infact somewhat bootylicious . . . . Good night Naruto!"

And lee was gone. Naruto blinked, and he turned up missin' (Scary Movie) :)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Morning! Fresh air, birds chirping, and an obligation to Sasuke. After an early training session, a sweaty Naruto made his way to Sasuke's apartment. After all, a manipulative guy like that doesn't deserve fresh armpits. Naruto didn't smell, though. He just didn't care about impressing Sasuke with his hygiene. Or DID he care? Yes, if he could beat Sasuke in the art of cleanliness-

"Hey Naruto!" Yelled a girl. Tenten jumped into view. "Do you know what's up with Lee? he was crying and wailing, and wouldn't tell me what it was all about, but he said your name a few times, then ran off to do some bum-busters. What's gotten into him?"

"Sheesh. If my silly butt had that much of an effect on him he can have it."

"Hold on a minute. You're saying this has something to do with your butt?"

"He talked about it last night when he pulled a Hinata on me. Am I going to have two stalkers?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Enough of that conversation. Naruto arrives at chez Sasuke. He rang Sasuke's door bell. Sasuke answered, within a few seconds of his ringing. Naruto was still ringing, even though the door was open for him. He entered.

"Okay, You need to speak. Why is Lee acting this way?"

"He's not acting," said Sasuke.

"Sasuke!"

"Come on, you're going to clean my room."

"And what about Lee?"

"What of him?" Naruto Gave Sasuke an angry face :[ . Sasuke blushed, lost in his mind. "He's just jealous of your behind."

"Why?"

"I might have said something. Time for you to tidy up around here." Sasuke grabbed his wrist and stomped to the bedroom.

"There isn't a speak of dirt in here." *CLICK* Sasuke locked the door.

"Whaaaaaaaaa?"

"take a shower."

"Sasuke! What's going on here?"

"The first thing you're going to clean is yourself."

"That's kinda weird, teme."

"Just do it." When Naruto complied, he muttered, "Idiot."

Naruto entered a bathroom that was accessible from the bedroom. It was warm like a cave. Naruto's wet cloths slid off his body onto the floor, then he stepped into the shower. In the other room, Sasuke opened a large window and let the fresh village air flood the room. The window overlooked a courtyard with an old tree.

"What are you doing in here?" Demanded Naruto. He tried to hide his nude body from Sasuke when he entered, but could only turn away because of the glass.

"It_ is_ my bathroom," he replied, eyeing a voluptuous rear. He took of his cloths, then slid open the shower door. Naruto spun around,

" Don't come in here-" Sasuke's lips interrupted the blonde. Naruto was about to push Sasuke away, but Mr. Foxy interlocked their fingers instead. Uchiha then pushed Uzumaki against the cold, tiled wall.

"S-Sas-uke?"

The raven held his hands over his head and whispered in his ear, "Naruto." He put his thigh between Naruto's legs and pressed his flawless pearl skin against a warm, tan body.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

In the courtyard outside, Lee hid in the tree. Remememember when he hid in a tree before? Just checking.  
>"Oh no! They are already at it!" Lee exclaimed. "Guy sensei, what do I do?"<p>

"Well, Lee, I suppose you're just going to have to show that hotshot who's best."

"Wise words as always, Guy sensei."

With a thumbs up from Might Guy, a confident Lee invaded the open window.

"You haven't given me much of a reaction, Naruto. But if I had to guess, your blushing is telling me that you like it." Naruto was freezing up, too surprised to say a thing. Sasuke ran his fingers through wet hair and began kissing Naruto's neck. He pulled his face away, "what the heck do you think_ you're_ doing here?"

A naked Lee stepped into the shower. "Sasuke, give it up already. Everyone knows Naruto is not like that. I'm sure you're aware how fast I can be."

"Your speed would only make you cum faster. Besides, I don't want you. I told you that. Get out of my house."

"I could take you to places you've never been . . . on my rocket-ship?" Lee tried to hide his nervousness.

"And I could Chidori your ball sack. Leave."

_That angry face . . . he must be serious._ Thought Lee,_ maybe I better go. Things aren't working to my favor right now._ He left with a heart full of shame.

"Okay, Sasuke, get off me, you perv! I still don't get what's going on!" Shouted Naruto, who had found his voice.

"Geez you're slow."

"Why you-"

"Go home."

"wha-?"

"Just leave!" Sasuke dismounted the confused kid, who put on his cloths and left. Sasuke slumped onto his bed and rubbed his erection with a face full of tears and quiet sobs. Rejection hurts. Especially from your first love.

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><p><span>Chapter One, Part Two: Sakura<span>

Lee was in a tree. Crying. Sasuke wasn't the only one who had a hard time dealing with rejection, and of course, sexual frustration.

"what should I do?" He bawled.

At least, when he needed someone most, he knew who would be there for him. Lee raced to Guy's house. Lee arived in record speed and knocked on the door, but after waiting without an answer, he decided to go on in. It was unlocked and empty. Where was his sensei? Lee leaned against a wall in puzzelment, and was surprised to feel a vibration.

_Where could this be coming from?_ he wondered. He put his ear to the wall.

Lee heard the muffled voice of his sensei say "yes, I'm ready!"

"Guy sensei . . ." mumbeled Lee, inspecting the surroundings. "I see!" He exclaimed , noticing a hidden door, cut obviously into the floor boards. Lee lifted the square patch of floor and descended down a cheeply made ladder.

"Midgit porn supreme! An hour full of horny-" a t.v. perhaps?

"Who's there?" Demanded Might Guy, quickly shutting off the t.v and pulling up his clothing.

"It is I, sensei. I have come to seek advice." Lee always had confidence around his sensei.

He found an underground room. There was a small television, a VCR, a shelf of video cassettes; a cages of moths, a set of preserving tools, moths on display, a bookcase with stories about moths; a goat; and a defllated slip-n'-slide that Lee used once. He noticed that he left a pubic hair on the slip-n'-slide. He knew it was his because he frosted the tips.

"Wow, you really have a collection down here," He managed to say.

"Uh . . . yeah . . . want some goat's milk?" Asked Guy awkwardly.

"Uh . . . nah . . . like I said, I was seeking some advice."

"Oh . . . eh . . . about what?"

"Sasuke. He rejected my youth!" With that they ran together and cried in each other's arms.

"Sensei! I don't know what to do with myself!"

"Well, Lee," Said Guy getting back to mentor superiority, "What I think you need is a sexual outlet. You see, when most men have emotions they don't know how to handle, they use sex as a means of coping."

"Oh! I see . . ."

"So, do you you understand what that means, Lee?"

"Yes, sensei! I will find a sexual outlet of my own! The handsome devil of the leaf is off!"

"Ha ha ha! Make me proud, my favorite student! And just so you won't be alone, I will use an outlet of my own." Guy turned around. The goat bleated (if you don't know what a bleat is, it is just the noise a goat a makes. beeeeeeaaahhh!).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

_Okay then! who will be my sexual outlet? Let's make this matter. Something to do with Sasuke. Chidori? Yeah . . . chidori . . . ch . . . o . . . i . . . Choji! Alright. I have a plan._

Lee ran to Choji's house. He glanced in his bedroom window. Choji was eating potato chips. _Wish me luck, Guy sensei!_ "Transform!" (Lee used a scroll to help him; he can't use ninjutsu!) _A success!_

Sakura pressed a full bosom against Choji's window. "Oh, Choji . . ." she moaned.

Choji's eyes where set aflame from the sexy red lingerie. "S-Sakura?"He opened the window. she crawled in and tried to do some sexy poses. They came off corny and slutty, but never the less, arousing.

"Hey there, Choooo-ji. I was thinking to myself, how I could just not keep it a secret any longer, I need you. Every night, I would imagine you pleasuring me with your expansion jutsu. I can't wait any longer!" she ran and hugged him, giving him puppy eyes.

"So my prayers have been answered! Alright then." He stripped sensually.

_This was more of a cinch than I thought!_ Lee smiled in his Sakura body.  
>They made out until they could not take it any longer (Choji from lust, Lee from not being able to handle Choji's sloppy kisses; It was like he wanted to eat, not kiss). Choji took a breath.<p>

Choji's mother was walking down the hall when she heard "Expansion jutsu!"

_Aww, he's training in his room,_ she assumed, and slid open his room door. She gasped at the sight of position for a sixty nine between her son and Sakura.

"Eh, I gotta run! See ya!" Sakura was gone, running like a bat out of hell. It's funny, 'cause bat's don't run!

After a while of running, Lee slowed down. He still had a body like sakura. What are the chances, that at that moment, Sakura would appear right around the corner? This fraction is not yet determinabel, since we don't know the exact body mass of Sakura, or the universe, but the chance happened. And Sakura gave Lee the punch of a lifetime. He was Knocked out. When he awoke, he found himself tied up. On a bed.

"So you've finaly woken up," the real Sakura said. Lee was shivering with fear; he knew Sakura to be vicious at times. He never would have imagined this predicament with his old crush. "I normaly use clones of myself for this kind of thing, but using someone new and exciting, who looks just like me? Well, I just can't resist." She stepped out of the shadows to reveal her own pink pubic hair. And matching pink nipple hair.

_Wow. I never thought she just grew it all out...like me,_ Lee thought to himself. Lee immediately became aroused, and yet frightened by the idea of Sakura. Her huge forehead alone could crush him.

"I'm not going to hurt you, unless that's what you want." Sakura said while winking at Lee as if she were drunk. She proceeded, "I've always wondered what it would be like to have a twin. Some one to look like me, but act freely. I'm sick of always having to control the toys I play with." She giggled.

Lee didn't know how to act. If he were still a guy he'd have a raging erection bursting through the red, silk lingerie. But, part of him was still kind of freaked out. Being knocked out and tied up was never his sort of thing. His fantasy wasn't around bondage-instead he liked double penetration.

"Uhhmmm...Sakura!" Lee finally said. He sounded stupid for taking such a long time to talk.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Sakura yelled. She took out a short, black leather whip and struck Lee across his flat stomach. "Act a little sexy; like me."

Sakura steadily and slowly walked to the bed and seductively bent over, searching for something on the floor. After a moment of patting around the area, her eyes widened and a smirk formed on her face. She pulled out an old cardboard box. There was tape holding the sides together, and the side read 'Sakura's Sexy Stuff.' She gently set the box in between Lee's feet.

"W-what's in there?" Lee said in a slighty sexy, yet very intruiged voice.

"Well, lets see here. It depends. Are you going to scream?" Sakura asked. "Haha. Of course you are." She pulled out a ball gag and toss it onto Lee's chest, hitting a nipple. Lee yelped from the pain.

Sakura grabbed a slew of items, most of which were involved with pain and hint of pleasure. One being an 8 inch-round butt plug attached to a matching 11 inch dildo along with a pair of old, rusty handcuffs. The kind Salad Fingers would fantasize about. She walked over to the side of the bed (either side, you pick) and poured vanilla scented oil onto Lee's body, slowly and gently rubbing it into Lee's skin, making sure to get the armpits drenched.

"Are you ready?" Sakura asked. As she worked her way down to Lee's place of entry. Horny and prepared, Lee's eyes closed and head nodded. Sakura grabbed the sex tool and flipped a switch. The dildo began vibrating, the plug turning. Lee's eye suddenly opened with surprise. Not knowing what pleasure was in store, Sakura shoved the dildo and plug into Lee. Lee let out a great yell to express the sudden joy.

After 13 minutes of Lee's pleasure Sakura stopped. "I need to show you something." She pulled an enormous cock from out of her vagina.

"WHAT?" Lee exclaimed. he had never seen anything so amazing. "You have both?"

"I have everything." Sakura said while again walking to the side of the bed. "And this is where I need YOU." She grabed her cock and rubbed it into Lee's armpit.

_What a sexual outlet._


	2. Chapter 2

**This story will be long. I do not own Naruto.**

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><p><span>Chapter Two, Part One: Hot for Naruto<span>

Sasuke answered the door. It was raining out side and cold air blew in. Naruto stood in the doorway, soaking wet, wearing a black shirt and his orange pants.

"What are you doing out in the rain? You're going to catch a cold, idiot." Sasuke secretly savored the sight.

"Are you going to let me in or not?"

"Fine. Just don't let your clothes drip water everywhere."

"Can I take them off?"

"What?"

"And then take a shower?"

"Naruto?" Naruto planted a wet kiss on Sasuke's lips, eager and hungry. Sasuke withheld at first, but once Naruto caressed Sasuke's face, He willingly gave back more than he received. It seemed the more one gave, the other tried to beat by giving even more. A competition, even in kissing. He pushed his tounge into the blond's sweet mouth, which was greeted warmly. An eternal lust that Sasuke could be feed, but would never be satisfied. Time did not exist for him. When Naruto shivered, Sasuke said, "Let's get you into that shower."

Warm water splashed from all directions. Naruto was so aggressive, It left Sasuke immobilized. All he do was feel, and it was overwhelming. Naruto's toned body, soft lips, breath.

"What's the matter? Did I beat you, and you've given up?" Naruto teased with a smile. "You haven't even gotten a taste of my flavor."

Naruto put in a plug to form a bath. Then he drenched Sasuke's chest with liquid soap and lathered his body. Sasuke passed some of his bubbles onto Naruto, Massaging every inch of his lover. Naruto moaned. It made Sasuke's hard-on harder. Sasuke pulled Naruto down into the bubbly bathwater, and began Kissing him. He pushed Naruto against the tiled wall and sat on top of him, giving everything he had. The soap made their bodies glide against one another. The water was warm and playful.

"Sa- . . . " a dazed Naruto could hardly speak, but found enough words to say, "I need you . . . inside me"

"I've always loved your brazillian tush, Naruto."

"I've thought that your ass wasn't as good as mine. Do you feel humbled, knowing that I have a feature you can't compete with?"

"What ever you just said was phrased so dork like that my coolness was not compatible with analyzing it."

"You're about as cool as a fan, compared to an airconditioner like me."

"You're just mad because I could blow you away with my breeze."

"I could make it so cold, I'll give you goosebumps on your goosebumps."

"Watch me chop your finger off."

"I'll keep you awake at night with my racket."

"You're noisey regardless." Saskue silenced Naruto with a kiss.

Nothing could be better than seeing Naruto before him like this, but he still felt longing in his heart. He realised he could spend every moment with him, but for some reason, the feeling would unquenchable. But the most beautiful thing was before him. He staired into the sky's depths by looking into Naruto's eyes.  
>Sasuke slowly opened his own eyes.<p>

_It was just a dream?_ He felt damp. He sluggishly tore off his moist bedsheets. _Turns out during my wet dream I wet the bed._

_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ._

Lee needed to find the scroll he had left behind so that he could change back to his former self. It had to be outside Choji's window, afterall, that was where he transformed. He ran back as fast as he his feet could take him; they seemed to have a mind of there own, especially when they tried taking him to a nail salon that had discounts on pedicures. How could the feet resist! (originally the sentence was "how could Lee resist", but I changed it because the feet had a mind. and I used the two '"E's" in Lee's name for the feet, I even rewrote the word "Lee" so that I could do it that way. This is significant because Lee's feet are him. That's right.)

_Where is the scroll? Don't tell me the Achimitchi family found it?_ Lee looked all around the back yard for the scroll. _Then it looks like I will have to retrieve from inside._

Lee slipped in the backdoor once he was sure he heard no one. His feet were nervous with sweat, and they stuck to floor as he walked, leaving foot prints to evaporate. He leveled up to a yellow wall with butterflys, then carefully peered around the corner of the hall. To his relief, it was a pantry with glass doors on either side and wooden cupboards. He entered, and found potato chips displayed behind a row of glass cupboards. He heard talk coming from the room on the other end of the pantry doors.

"And whoever it was, used this scroll to transform," It was Choji's mom.

"I come back home to find out that my son was about to perform some sexual act with an unknown stranger." A man, who must have been Choji's father was clearly upset. Haha, unknown strangers.

"At first I thought it was a good excuse to not pay child support to Sakura's mother anymore, but the scroll does change things. Still going to have to pay that bastard."

"For someone to use something like this, they would have to be a villager, someone with pathetic ninjutsu skills." Noticed the dad.

"Well, they are going to need it to change back, so we better keep an eye on it."

Lee heard footsteps heading his way. He acted on his current physical ability; his only option to remain uncaught was to hide in a wooden cabinet. He was unaccustomed to the body he had, and had to position himself with caution to not touch, yet more potato chip bags. Choji's parents entered the pantry.

"You know, I'm hungry," the man said, and he opened the cupboard right next to Lee. "Mmh," he grunted, making tons of noise from rubbing plastic. Lee was sweating profusely. A hand Reached over Lee's waist to grab a bag, luckily the door obscured his view of Lee. "Where is that barbecue flavored kind?"  
>The hand reach for the lower interior shelf, directly behind Lee.<p>

His finger was millimeters away from a tummy when Choji's mother said, "Come on, let's go into the bedroom."

"Alright." His hand receded from Lee. He paused before exiting, causing Lee to wonder if he had been spotted. the hand settled greedily on the closest bag, then closed the door, condemning Lee to darkness.

Once they had left, Lee took a breath after what had seemed an eternity. He listened to where they stomped off to, then snuck back outside to look in their window. Luck was on his side today, as the window was open. He also luckily waited no longer than a minute before Choji himself interrupted his parents.

"Hey, mom, dad, um . . . would it be alright if I went off and trained with Shikamaru and the others?"

"Go ahead, son," said his father, who sounded like he just wanted him out of the room.

"Thanks," and Choji was gone, just like the scroll that had been loungin' on the end table near the window.

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><p><span>Chapter Two, Part Two: Girl Talk<span>

The training ground in the forest was more crowded than usual. Typically, there may be one or two ninja training in this secluded spot, but today Four kunoichi were selected by fate to meet. Sakura and Ino hadn't been around long before Hinata and Ten Ten showed up.

"Wow, look who all showed up," commented Ino.

"Hey guys," Greeted Ten Ten. "We can go somewhere else."

"Oh, no, you two are fine. In fact, neither of us were really into training today. We were just reminiscing," Said Sakura in a very friendly tone.

And as simple as that, the girls started a conversation. They talked about grill- I mean girl stuff. Like makeup, hair, vaginal secretions. They laughed and sat facing each other on patch of grass in the sun. Four ninja boys walked up a path on the hill to the training site.

"Smells like four girls have came through here," said Kiba. Laughing and giggling could be heard in the distance.

"And it sounds like they're having a pretty good time," added Neji. Shikamaru and choji followed behind.

"Man, what a drag. After we came all the way out here." You probably know who said this.

"Who's that?" asked Ino, detecting nearby presences.

"Probably just someone who wants to use the training ground." Responded Ten Ten, "so wanna go some place else?"

Hinata offered, "I know a place where we can go. There's a small abandoned outpost not far from here."

"Sounds like fun. Show us the way, Hinata." Said Sakura.

They jumped off eastward.

"Huh? No one's here." Observed Choji when they had reached the top.

"Looks like they've run off. Hinata, Ino, Sakura and Ten ten." Said Kiba. Akamaru yipped an affirmative.

"I wonder why," Stated Shikamaru blankly.

"Only one way to find out! Let's follow 'em!" snickered kiba

"That's going to be such a drag, though. Who cares?" Said Shikamaru.

"Aren't you curious to what they were talking about?" Said a sly Neji.

"Well, when you put it that way . . ." he smiled. They trailed behind.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"This is it." Said Hinata.

They stopped at a clearing in the forest. There were two wooden shacks with chipping green paint. One had a screen door and a matching window. Parallel, was a smaller shed that had wooden beams piled in front of it. They went inside and sat down on built in benches. They resumed talking.

"So their in there, huh?" Mumbled Shikamaru.

The boys silently gathered round to eaves drop. Choji took his place on the other shed, Shikamaru behind the main shed with Neji, and Kiba directly on the slanted roof with his pup.  
>For a while they talked of nothing the boys found of interest. A bored Choji shifted his weight, and ended up crashing through the ceiling of the other shed; a bit to heavy. The structure fell apart and the wooden beams fell to the side, obscuring the door of the adjacent shed, thus barricading the conversationalists in their little club house.<p>

"Let's move!" They weren't sure who said it, but it didn't matter; they fled.

"Hinata!" Cued Ten Ten.

"Byakugan!" She saw who their guests were, and informed the girls when they had left.

"Great. We're locked in," said Ino. They all brooded in silence. "Wait, I have a good Idea." She said, after a while.

"Hmm?" Inquired Sakura

"Since it's just us, we can talk about serious stuff."

"Yeah," added Sakura, "we can tell secrets, that won't go past that door once we get out."

"I like it," said Ten Ten smiling.

"Sounds like fun," Hinata finalized.

"Here's one." Said Ino, "Ten Ten, kill one, marry one, fuck one."

"This is going to be good," she played in.

"Shino, Shikamaru, . . . and Naruto!"

"Ugh! You gave me terrible choices," she complained. "Marry Shikamaru, fuck Naruto and kill Shino . . . I would kill Naruto off but those beetles of Shino's gives me the creeps I don't want bugs on me while I'm doing it."

"Sakura," started Ino, "Choji, Lee, and Kiba."

"Hmmm . . . I'd marry kiba, after all, I'd still get to fuck him, wouldn't I? He's the most doable one. Then . . . I don't want to fuck either . . . I honestly don't care for any of them. It's an even road. How about you, Ino? Neji, Garra, Shikamaru."

"This is a pretty even road too. But they are all decently attractive. Garra gave me the creeps during the chunine exams though, so I would kill him . . . Fuck Neji, he's hot, and marry Shikamaru. I think he might make a good husband if he wasn't so god damn lazy."

"Alright." Said Ten Ten taking initiative, "Hinata: Kiba, Saskue, Naruto."

Her response was timid, "Um . . . marry Naruto-"

"WHAT?" The three cried in unison.

"Um, do Kiba, Kill Saskue."

"WHAT?" They cried again.

After dealing with the shock of the last answer they heard, They decided to each tell a secret. Ten Ten was first.  
>"I saw Lee's dick once."<p>

The remainders gasped. "What? When? How!" Ino was hyped up.

"On a mission once, he was peeing in the river, and I didn't know. I guess he didn't hear me untill the awkward moment where I came and saw the sight unintentionally"

"What did it look like?"

"He wasn't circumcised, and he hadn't hit puberty yet, and that was about a year and a half ago."

They all giggled. "Want to compare breasts?" Said Hinata, coming out of her shy zone. They all lifted their shirts.

Sakura had tits that covered a large area of her chest, but did not come out to far, suggesting she had potential for large breasts later on. Ten Ten's nipples were inflated, and she had small fat bags for boobs, but don't imagine it ugly, they were all cute. Ino Had lower nipples, but her girls were larger than either sakura's or Ten Ten's. Hinata had it. Perky and more full than the rest, she had matured faster, but had a strange yellow tint to her aureole. Sorry, no inverted nipples.

"Okay, My secret is that I masturbate." Said Sakura.

"No shit, everyone does that," said Hinata, surprising everyone with her bluntness.

"Oh . . . since it's obvious I like Sasuke, my secret then would be that I keep snacks in plastic bags that I store in my vagina during missions. I usually use skittles." The crowd was speechless.

"Um, my secret is that I like Naruto."

"_Yeah, but you need to say something funny for the readers, Hinata_" came a voice from nowhere. "_You must have something new._"

"I guess you could say I have many phobias." She went on, "Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia, Geniophobia- Fear of chins, Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish, Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis-"

"Okay, we get it," Interrupted Ino. "My secret? Well, I'll confess my favorite fantasy. And of course, it's with Sasuke." She shot Sakura a glance. "So I'm wearing this long skirt, and then Sasuke comes along riding a bike. But it's not just any bike. It has a special seat in front for the girl to sit in, and you can have sex while pedaling the bicycle."The girls bursted out laughing, except Ino. Her confidence kept her intact as she finished, "and my long skirt covers it all as we ride through Khonoha." The girls kept laughing hysterically, and Ino eventually joined in. They forgot all about leaving the small room and had a blast together while bonding femininely.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Two, Part Three: Murder<span>

Lee Had been trying to convince himself that his sexual outlet had solved all his desire for Sasuke, but like many situations in life, the problem would not be better because something else that happened. Sasuke was his youth! And he had to have it, _whatever_ the cost. Even if he had to . . . kill? Dun dun dun . . . . Yes, Lee would take that step. He saw that killing Naruto was the only way to have his way with Sasuke. He gathered the supplies necessary . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Naruto had nothing to do. He had been trying to train, but with pervy sage being gone, all he could do was work on his endurance. However, that left him with a free mind, and his thoughts kept returning to Lee and Sasuke. He didn't know what happened for them to start acting different. He called it a day and walked around town. Meandering for a while, he eventually found himself at the academy.

"Hey, Naruto! Long time no see!" Greeted Iruka from afar.

"Iruka sensei!" Smiled Naruto. He made his way over to his old teacher.

"How are you, Sakura, and Sasuke doing?"

"Eh . . . They're doing alright."

"Say, Naruto, it's been a while. Why don't we catch up over some ramen?"

"No way! You're the best, Iruka sensei!"

poopy butt fart snack

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Back at Ichiraku, the two were slurping ramen noodles with delight.

"Mmm! This is so good!" Said Naruto.

"Would you be glad we both had this in our childhood? " Added Iruka.

"I think I could, yes, I should."

"Hopefully this place will still be here the day you become hokage."

"I'll say! And every birthday! even if pompeii someday were to get in the way, It would be a dismay to have such a doomsday to make an ashtray of Ichiraku!"

"Well, I sure am glad to see that you still have as much enthusiasm as ever," the teacher's voice cracked because he stopped rhyming. It didn't even matter that Naruto's sentence prior to his teacher's didn't end in a rhyme. I hope you enjoyed the sentence before this one.

_Lee eyed his Target. Naruto Uzumaki was going to die tonight._

"Naruto, do you have any plans for fun activities? The weather is so nice, I just hope you're enjoying your teenage years rather than spend every second training."

_Lee was twenty meters from his target._

"Huh? what do you mean?" Asked Naruto.

_Lee took a deep breath._

"I mean having some fun . . . dancing, staying up late, going to the beach, that sort of thing."

_Lee calculated his move._

Naruto had a vision.

_Lee withdrew kunai._

"Hey, sensei, thanks for the Ramen. And listen, come to the beach before sundown, I'm throwing a party."

_Lee threw the kunai._

Naruto sped off.

The kunai passed the space Naruto once occupied, then continued to pierced Iruka's head.


	3. Chapter 3

**During this chapter, you may ask yourself:**

**1. "How did Sasuke know ahead of time what Naruto is wearing?" Answer: he's cool.**

**2. "How are the Uchiha clan alive, and yet Sasuke wanted revenge?" Not answered.**

**3. "What song did Sasuke sing?" Answer: The Kill, by 30 Seconds to Mars, unless you want it to be something else; you can use your imagination; I'll let you. :)**

**4. "Where does Sasuke get all that stuff, anyways?" Answer: idk . . . maybe his swimsuit?**

**5. "what would Jesus do?" Answer: Jesus would laugh . . . I hope.**

**I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I also had to add a corny love talk. Hope you enjoy, reader!**

**Lee and Guy are awesome! This is dedicated to Bree, for all of our "Fishy moments".**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Three, Part One: Witness<span>

Neji saw it.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Three, Part Two: Beach Part<span>y

Did you notice the "Y" above hangs off the line? Why, you ask? Because it knows how to chill.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Party at the beach tonight! Bring your glow-sticks!" Yelled Naruto as he ran through the village. Cheers came from his fellow ninja. He informed all his friends, and told them to spread the word.

"I'll bring all the hot-dogs you can eat!" Offered Choji.

"I'll bring the lights!" Said Ino.

"I'll bring the music!" Said Ten Ten.

"I'll tell the interrogation cor. about Lee!" Said Neji.

"Did you set this up?" Asked Sasuke as Naruto ran past him.

"Oh, yeah," replied Naruto stopping, "come on, it'll be a lot of fun."

"Humph. Do you even know how to party?"

"Well, it's going to be like a rave. Of course I know how!"

"I expect you to dance with me when I get there, then." Sasuke vanished like steam.  
>Naruto's face turned red.<p>

Naruto headed back to his apartment to get ready. He took a shower and dressed in his usual orange pants, but forwent the matching jacket in place of a mesh shirt. He head banged a few times, his hair went into place and stayed there. He still had a little time before he had to leave, so he checked to see if anyone could see him from his window. No one in sight. He slid open a sliding door to his closet, entered, closed the door, then turned on a light.

Naruto scrounged around in mess until he found a plastic bin. He opened in. Four dolls were hidden inside. He dumped them out.

"Hey," Said Naruto in a scruffy voice holding up a china doll. "I'm Kakashi sensei. I wish I had the spirit that Naruto has."

Naruto held up a Barbie, then said in a high voice, "I'm Sakura, and oh no! I'm drowning at the beach party! Naruto, save me!" He flailed the barbie around in the air.  
>Naruto replaced both his hands with the remaining dolls. One was a muscular guy Barbie, the other was an asian Grovey Girl that had been drawn on with a black marker to make longer eyebrows and a goatee. He had wrote the word "Sasuke" on the shirt.<p>

"Oh, no, Sakura! Don't worry, I'll try to help you!" Said the Grovey Girl, who flailed in the imaginary water. "The current is too strong for me! Help me too, Naruto!"

"You guys are such a pain," Said Naruto, the smiling, handsome Barbie with an exaggerated level of coolness. He dove into the water. The current was powerful, but not as powerful as Naruto.

"How does he do it?" Commented a drowning Sasuke.

"Wow! He's so . . . magnificent! way to go, Naru- ahhh!" Sakura was swept under water.

"Go on, Naruto! You are our only hope!" Encouraged Kakashi from the shoreline.

"Here I come!" shouted Naruto, who sped into an inhuman speed, leaving a splashing trail behind him. He picked up Sasuke along the way, who was breathless and weak.

"A- amazing," Sasuke gasped for air.

"Here I come, Sakura!"

"Naruto, you're my only hope!" she said underwater, bubbles rising from her open mouth-

"Naruto!" Interrupted Ten Ten knocking on the apartment door, "What are you doing in there? Aren't you ready yet?"

"Coming!" Said Naruto, returning to reality.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was close to sundown when Naruto arrived at the beach. The soft, white sand was drenched in golden sunlight. A group of teenagers were lighting what looked like the start of a big bonfire. A low cliff embellished with rave lights closed off the right side of the beach. Naruto stood on a twenty feet high white wall that was leveled with the village. Christmas lights, along with other neon lights, decorated the iron fence atop the platform. A DJ system being set up by Ten Ten and someone in a creme pussy cat costume. People arrived in groups, and by the time the beach was full of swimsuit bodies, the sky was red-orange with wispy purple clouds. The clear water met the horizon, mimicking the colors above. The bonfire grew with the population. The smell of hot dogs drifted through the air.

The lights slowly came on. The color scheme of the lights were of warm colors to match the dusk hours. Patterns took form, creating a moving artwork of lasers to be experienced by time. Naruto tested the microphone at the DJ's stand.

"Check, one check, one two check. Check, check checking. Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank." With a few chuckles from the crowed, he proceeded to say "hey everyone! Are you guys ready to party?"

"Yeah!" Shouted the crowd.

"No!" Joked a person.

"Then get out of here," said another. The person who said "no" brooded for a while after that.

"Then let's get some music!" He cued the cat costume with headphones.

Rave music played, and the mass of bodies began to dance. Naruto jumped down to join them. Bikinis and speedos of all colors grove to sound, producing a hypnotic sight. Skin was everywhere, tinted by the sun. However, what everyone noticed most was the heat. Heat from the bodies, sand, fire, and sun.

"Hey, Naruto," greeted Sakura, who was in a red, one piece swimsuit.

"Hey, Sakura. Having fun?"

"Yes!"

"Want to dance?"

"No."

Naruto's pride was hurt, but only a little. He walked it off. He noted what colors people wore. Kiba: white, Ten Ten: pink. Choji: green, Ino: purple. Kankuro: black, Temari: yellow. Shikamaru: brown, and Hinata wore blue.

"Uhm . . . hi, Naruto," Hinata said when she noticed Naruto looking at her.

"Oh, hey, Hinata. What's up? You wanna dance?" He asked casually. Hinata fainted.

The sky became richer, the music faster, the light patterns more intricate. Some people were already using their glow sticks. Ten Ten had an admiring circle around her. They watched as she danced with glow sticks on strings, performing the most complicated of moves. Naruto cheered her on. she smiled.

He saw everyone except Sasuke. _Not that I'm looking for him,_ Naruto said to himself, but he thought Sasuke was going to come. He wanted to show off all that he had accomplished.

"Attention! Uchiha police force!"

_So he showed up after all._ People stopped dancing and looked to see Sasuke in a black speedo , the Uchiha symbol on the hip. He stood atop the high fence, microphone in hand.

"We may have to arrest some naughty people tonight. We may even have to confiscate some cloths." The crowed cheered. The music presumed. Sasuke drank out of a flask, then hopped down on the sand with a flood of black haired Uchiha following. _So there is Naruto._ He had a flash back of a fantasy he had created earlier.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Hey, Sasuke," said Naruto.

"Call me 'Officer Sasuke',"

"Alright, 'Officer Teme'."

Sasuke's had a straight face, except for the playfulness that was apparent in his eyes. "You can _and will_ get in trouble for mouthing off to authority."

"And my name's shut up."

"You will obey the law tonight, Naruto."

"Tonight, I'm on the 'Most Wanted' list," he said mischievously.

"Then you have the right to remain silent." He stepped in for a kiss, Naruto took a step back simultaneously.

"Yes sir," he smiled.

"Freeze." Commanded Sauske, taking out hand cuffs.

"Catch me if you can, 'Officer Sasuke'!"

Naruto turned away, but gave a profile smile that silently said, "follow me". Sasuke chased two steps behind, while Naruto sent back smiles along the way.

"Hold it right there," he said when Naruto cornered himself under the dock. "For resisting arrest," quickly fill the gap between them, "I'm going to give you a full cavity search."

"Give me a deep and hard frisk please, mister police man."

Naruto's back was against a wooden beam. Sasuke cuffed him to it.

A finger was inserted in the criminal's mouth as the cop said, "Bad boys are idiots."

He lifted up the mesh shirt to attack a nipple with a warm tongue and cool breath. A moan sent a chill up Sasuke's spine. A tan leg wrapped itself around a pale calve, pulling two bodies closer on the lower level.

Naruto pouted. "I promise to be good . . . next time." A tan arm flexed, and with a powerful movement, broke the wood pillar. Suavely, the handcuff popped off and Sasuke was pushed against a new pillar, latched.

"Guess why I'm wanted." Naruto took charge of the game.

"I don't know. Why?" He wanted the answer.

"Because of what I'm about to do to someone named Sasuke."

"What are you going to do to Sasuke?"

"Sasuke will find out." He carresed his lover, holding his lips in front of Sauke's in an anticipating torture.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke shattered the daydream. _Naruto._

Naruto walked away from where he saw Sasuke; he was happy he showed, but he was still a little creeped by what had happened earlier between them.

"Going somewhere, Naruto?" Asked an all too familar voice. Naruto turned around. Found him already. "Last time we talked, remember what I said to you?"

"Yeah, yeah, Sasuke, you wanted to dance." Naruto was nervous. Sasuke took a long step, quickly filling the space between them.

Sasuke took a drink from his flask, offered some to Naruto, who refused, then placed it in his swimsuit. "What, do you need some glow sticks or something?" He had an orange pair and a blue pair. Naruto had no idea when those got in his hands. Naruto took the orange pair.

Sasuke started out slow at first, tracing his stomach in circles. Naruto made the figure eight. Then he made a nine, for the nine tails! Saskue inched closer to Naruto as he traced his body with the low stick. Their skin was tinted by neon glow and dusk light.

"I'm surprised you even came. I thought you were too good for stuff like this." Naruto joked.

"I'm surprised a knuckle head like you rounded up this many people." Sasuke started tracing Naruto's body, along with his own. "Don't you think you're wearing a bit extra?"

Naruto smiled to himself. He tore off his mesh shirt and his pants. Underneath was an orange speedo with a rhinestone design. "I thought it was funny. I had to do it." Sasuke smirked.

New trails of light flashed and vanished, as if they were in a matrix. A sharingon appeared in the glowing orb of the sun; Itach's genjustu. The colors of the sunset permeated the entire sky, stars slowly peaking through. The clouds grew, the colors changed. Glowing stripes randomly traveled over surfaces, including people. Sasuke's hair began to shine red. His eyes lit up, revealing the full intensity his onyx mountains. Naruto's tan skin began to glow, along with his hair and eyes, as if on fire. Shadows of the world ceased to exist.

Sasuke was inches from Naruto's body. They were so present in the moment, nothing else in life was real. Orange and blue wove patterns around each other, Naruto and Sasuke were becoming one with each passing moment. Thoughts were lost, too much was being experienced. The air moved, caressing bodies in a distinct visible curve. Sasuke looked up, and Naruto copied his movement. The stars in the sky began to fall like snow. The aura of the sky melted into soft pink, yellow, and robin egg blue. Little lit puffs of star animated the space between people, creating a heaven daze. Some the sky acquired a hint of green, the lighting responded in kind.

Sasuke's dancing shifted slowly to grinding, something Naruto mirrored without consciously realizing. Their eyes met, and they staired at each other. Sasuke's body was projecting, Naruto's was receiving. It was almost a dream.

Sasuke turned his face toward Itachi, who returned the attention. He gave a nod, Itachi closed his eyes. Red eyes imprinted in Naruto's memory.

Transparent plants began to grow from the ground. The green ghost growth mingled with the surroundings. A vine with yellow buds grew around Naruto's leg, and began to blossom after reaching his thigh. A sweet fragrance was emitted. Fog rose from the ground and traveled like smoke, becoming denser and climbing higher. The plants, too, such as the sunflowers, vines, and more exotic types began to solidify, slowly.

Sasuke's body grazed Naruto gently, gradually building up. He put an arm around Naruto. The sand turned to dirt, the scene changed to a foggy meadow. The sound of leaves rustling and empty wind were the sounds of the new world. A pale face filled Naruto's sight.

Naruto was dazed. He felt a cool cheek where his whiskers were. Naruto's eyes followed Sasuke's movement. Foxy experimentally kissed the neck before him. There was no response. He then wove his free hand with his dove, who aided the movement, but did no more. Sasuke then took initiative to Naruto's lips. Warm peach petals complimented pearl. The lower lip of the lover in his dreams was now in his possession, and he wouldn't give it up easily. Their kissing was just like when they were dancing, the moment's length could have been years or seconds, for all they knew. Their arms could have traced days around each other.

Yet, it all flowed and flowed. A feeling slowly came into Naruto's awareness. He had little concentration to recognize it. But it persisted, and turned each kiss into something odd, something off. Something . . . wrong? Naruto opened his eyes, life surfacing.

When Sasuke noticed his lack of action, he met his eyes. "What's the matter?"

Something was wrong, he knew that much, but he didn't know what.

"Naruto?" Asked Sasuke blankly. No reply. "Naruto?" He demanded.

Naruto pushed him away, gaining strength. He looked at Sasuke for a long time, then looked at the surroundings. White smog, flowers, dirt . . . . Words slowly came to his head. _Sasuke . . ._ . Vague memories drifted into his head. The colors, the lights.

"This is . . ." Naruto tried to speak.

"Naruto?"

It all poured in at once. "A genjutsu!" He shouted. "Release!" He cried, making a hand sign.

The beach scene fell into place around Naruto, rippling like water until the world was stabilized, and his mind clear. He found himself and and Sasuke inside a circle of people.

"Whooo!" Cheered Kiba. "Nice one! you two love birds need a room! Oh, nevermind, you can go under that dock over there!"

"Yeah, Ino and Itachi are under there already, if you don't mind company!" Ten Ten teased.

Sasuke slid an arm around Naruto's chest like like snake, but the blond hit him away. He fled the arena, pushing people out of his way. A clenched fist and tightly shut eyes contained the abandoned Uchiha.

Hinata was lying on the ground with a nosebleed, mumbling to herself, "Epistaxiophobia- Fear of nosebleeds . . . ." She passed out next to Sakura; two similar fates.

Neji started conversation, "Never would have guessed that about those two."

"Yeah, no kidding," agreed Ten Ten.

"But it was a little weird how Naruto never noticed anything until he pulled away, and then he ran off," said Neji.

"Whatever happened, it sure got me in the mood." She said, facing her teammate.

"Once we get bored of the party, what do you say we go somewhere?" He offered.

"Have room for a third person?" Asked Kiba.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"So there are my cloths," said Naruto.

"I was just wearing them," replied Gaara.

"I can see that." Gaara took off Naruto's cloths and handed them over. Naruto put them on, then slumped against the plaster wall, sighing.

"You seem a little down. What's wrong?" Gaara finally asked.

Naruto sighed again. "A friend of mine just embarrassed me. And at the time, I didn't realize what I was doing."

"Mmh," he acknowledged.

"I just feel stuck. Our relationship is going to be different." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "I just don't know what to do."

"Can I have more details?" Naruto told him everything that had happened, starting at the shower. Gaara listened and pondered what he heard. Eventually he said, "So advances that you don't understand were made, and it's putting a strain on your friendship because you don't know enough about why these advances were made."

"Yeah, that about sums it up," he breathed out.

"Well, If it were me, I think I would know whether or not I wanted her and just tell her-"

"It's a guy," he said depressed.

"Oh." Silence allowed attention to turn to the people and the noise they made. "I guess your only option is to talk to him about it."

A loud roar of cheers sounded. "You're right. And I'm not gonna just sit here and sulk. I have a party to take care of. Thanks, Gaara." He ran to the crowd yelling, "hey, what's everyone so happy about?"

"Streak fest!" Shouted a villager. Most of the people discarded their attire for the nude, and ran around having a child like fun. Many people dashed into warm water, and had a splash fight as well.

Itachi and Ino with messed up hair came walking back from the docks. Ino slumped against the wall and sighed.

"What's wrong? You look a little down." Gaara finally asked.

Ino sighed again. "I just got laid by the older brother of a kid I liked. He never noticed me, that kid, and I had such a passion for him. And now I have my way with his sibling. I mean, how low can a girl get? I just made things worse for myself."

"Mmh," he acknowledged.

The party continued; skinny dipping became a fad for the next hour, Sasuke sipped from his flask here and there, Naruto and Choji had an eating contest, Choji won, Sasuke got tipsy. Sasuke boldly had his fun, and serenaded Naruto on the microphone. Most people thought it was karaoke, until the end where he shouted at the top of his lungs: "I love you, Naruto!" and fell from the raised platform due to his lack of chakra controll, only to be caught by Naruto at the bottom who replied: "You can sing like an angel, but you can't fly like one" it was a compliment, not flirting. Naruto carried him off to the cliff bottom, away from all the action.

"Listen, Sasuke, stay here! I don't want to babysit of you." He set down the Uchiha.

"Wait! . . . I have a secret for you, Naruto." He smiled, motioning him forward with a finger. Naruto put his ear to sasuke's face. Sasuke giggled.

Naruto waited, but when he kept it up, he withdrew. "Now stay here."

"No! Naruto, listen to my secret. come on." Naruto gave out a frustrated sigh and gave his ear once more.

"What makes the difference . . . between a fox . . . and a dog . . . ? He raised his neck closer to the ear, to whisper, "half of this flask." he bit Naruto's lobe and sucked.

Naruto pulled away, very irritated. "I'm going back. You're staying here."

"Wait. First show me you can handle it." He held out the metalic flask.

Naruto snatched it, scowling. Sasuke was watching the flask, so he didn't see it. "Fine."

A mouthful of liquid held an ocean of surprise. The drink burned and tickled whatever flesh it touched. He swallowed and coughed.

"Wimp, you handle more than that."

Naruto shot him a deathly glare, then chugged the rest of the concoction. Con-cock-tion! He clenched his teeth to avoid making his strugle not to gag obvious.

Sasuke laughed and said, "Stay with me for a few more minutes and I won't cause anymore ruckus."

"Whatever," He managed to say. He changed from squat to crisscross applesauce.

It didn't take long for Naruto to say, "I feel kinda weird."

"Let's go back now," said Sasuke getting up.

They saw a mass of people as they walked back to where life was. Naruto spoted Ino, and boy, shorty, man, that girl knew how to use her body.

"Ino's hot," he said.

Sasuke's interest was aroused. "Sure," not agreeing.

"And Sakura-chan," thinking of his crush.

"No."

"What?"

"Why do you like her?" It was an honest question, without his usual mockery.

"I don't really know. she's just cute."

"I don't want you to like her; She's weak, is obsessed with me, Hits you all the time, and dosen't like you back."

"But . . . she's Sakura."

_She's Sakura. Exactly why he shouldn't like her!_ He remembered seeing her on the ground. He was going to find her. "Naru-kun, follow me." He grabbed his wrist and lead the way.

Their trail was meandered, direction confused in a tangle of bodies. When he finally caught a glimpse of Sakura on the ground, He felt anger and Jealousy._ I need a distraction._ He turned around to face Naruto.

Hey, Naruto, would you go and get me a hot dog?"

The distraught boy made eye contact with the requester. "Uh . . . sure." He left.

Sasuke looked down at Sakura. _So pathetic._ Anger grew at the sight of her face. _Don't you dare hit Naruto. Time for a little payback._ He took out a bottle of glue. Her eyebrows were encumbered in clear, viscus substance. Now to wait for it to dry._ Oh, look. There's Hinata._

"Hey, Hinata," said Sasuke to the unconscious Hyuga. "Do you like Naruto? You do? Now way, me too. Actually, I love him. Back off. . . . What's that? You want a make-over too? My pleasure." He took out a razor and shaving cream. He shaved her head.

He tied some of her hair into braids and glued them on her nipples. Some hair was glued on her chest, arms, armpits, and shoulders. The remaining hair was stuffed in the bottom half of her blue-teal bikini. "Go get 'em, Tiger."

He returned to Sakura and waisted no time, promptly ripping off her eyebrows. Red skin remained from the clean wax.

"Where do you want your eyebrows?" Eyes shut, mouth agape. He stuck an eyebrow in her mouth as he observed the other. "It looks like an anorexic caterpillar." He laughed at the rebellious, white hair follicles. "Would you like your 'brows to be higher, to shorten your forehead?" He placed the eyebrows higher than normal. He laughed again. he turned the inards downward. "Don't be so mad, Sakura." He laughed more. "Oh, you mean having two is not your thing? My mistake." He made a uni-brow. It was low, like a cave man. "Oh, Sakura, you really are cute! Oh, suprised, are you?" he flipped the eyebrows 180, making the uni-brow surprised with the arches. "Want this or a mustache?" He did all the zesty dos, from sideburns to Hittler-stache. He decided on the surprised uni-brow.

"Just a little more, honey." He plucked a few pubes and glued them to her face. He glued an especially curly one on her cheek. "Whoa, Choji, when did you get here?" Hysterically, he laughed more. "Okay, that's enough. I don't want to hurt Naruto by doing anymore to you." He chuckled as he dragged Sakura and Hinata to the wall, then propped them up. He duck-tapped one of Sakura's arms to the wall, then stuck the other in Hinata's bottom. "Well, I have go now. See ya, gorilla turd, rampinsnack!" Sasuke stumbled back as fast as he could to where he would meet Naruto.

He saw the famous blond hair. "Naruto!" he cried, hugging his neck. He missed him. Naruto gave him the hot dogs. "What's wrong?" asked Sasuke through a mouth full of food when Naruto clutched his stomach.

"I don't feel so good. . . . I'm gonna go sit down." He made for the cliff bottom, Sasuke following. "Ugh," He moaned after he sat down.

Naruto turned and heaved, digested hot dogs forced from his throat. He vomited mouthful after mouthful, without relief of breath. He spit out fluid, and took his first breath. Sasuke pat his back.

"I have a belly ache too . . . these hot dogs tasted funny." He saw Naruto wipe pink slime from his mouth, then continued to throw up, exhausting his insides. Then he felt it too. He leaned forward and vomited.

Once they were done, Sasuke stood up an took a leak a ways away. Naruto felt a devilish cramp, then his rectum fill. This was urgent. He saw the water. throwing off his cloths, he ran in, glad he made it in time.

Liquid poo was squirted into the water, making it cloudy. "Just the time to have rectum rapids." His anal organs had another "operation evacuation," discharging butt piss. He moved to another area. Uncontrollable sneak attacks ambushed the water, leaving a Hershey path. He felt so embarassed as bubbles from a shart touched his bare skin. He moved more.

Sasuke was at the shore, approaching Naruto._ Damn my swamp ass!_ His face and ears burned. The last of the poo exited his system, free of will, and floated to the top. soft serve chunk. Sasuke caught up to Naruto in the waist high water.

"You weren't thinking of leaving me?"  
>Naruto was frozen, the butt sepage was between them.<p>

"What's that awful smell?"

"I don't know. This area is kinda swampy."

"What's that?" he asked, observing the floating muck.

"I think It's a dead fish," he lied.

Naruto ran back to shore. Sasuke ran after him. He hated that! It was hard to run in water, and an anxiety fell over him as he was helplessly chased. He dressed quickly, then hid from Sasuke the rest of the night in the sea of bodies.

Deidara was hired to do a fire work show, and it was fantastic. Butterflies, caterpillar-dragons, and grasshoppers painted the sky. A grand finale stroked Deidara's ego.

Now few remained; the party was at it's end. Naruto lay on the sand, exhausted. Choji had used his expansion jutsu and acted like a water slide earlier. Naruto was sliding down one of his legs when he got off to a bad start. He was about to slide off the side to early, and tried to grab on to something to stop his fall. He ended up pulling out one of Choji's hairs. Anyways, Naru had to swim fast to avoid his wrath. The hair remained big even after Choji returned to normal, and he whacked Naruto with it.

He looked up into a cloudless sky. "Hey," came a soft voice that made his heart stop.

He didn't move. "Hi."

Sasuke sat down, giving Naruto a generous distance between them. "Are you mad at me?"

"I don't know."

"I'd like some kind of feedback."

"Don't ever do anything like this again."

They were quiet for a long while. Sasuke lied down, his head near Naruto's, but his body angled in the other direction. "So, do you like watching the stars?"

". . ."

"Naruto, talk to me."

"About what?"

"What do you think? About us. Naruto, I don't want you to pull away from me."

Naruto remained quiet.

"Naruto, I like you."

" . . . I think I could have assumed that."

"And you don't like me."

He was silent again.

Sasuke has to break the silence again. "Do you like me or not, Naruto?"

"I don't know."

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"You were my friend, my rival, and you start acting like this all the sudden."

"And what do you think of it?"

"I want the old Sasuke back."

"What if that was impossible?"

"Is it?"

"I don't know."

Again, he had nothing to say.

"Listen to me, Naruto, I love you, and that's something that's hard to change."

"Go on."

"Naruto, whatever you do, don't cut yourself off from me!" He sat up and faced the blond so he could see his reactions.

Naruto continued to stair at the stars.

"Naruto," his eyes filled with hurt. "I probably should have never let you know in the first place." He hid his face behind hair.

"You know, Sasuke, I wonder why you don't have a girl. You could have anyone in the world."

"You, Naruto! You are the only one for me."

"Why me?"

"Because you reach somewhere they don't."

"And that is why you 'love me'?"

"Yes. I need you in my life, even if you wouldn't return my feelings. Without you, I have nothing. No clan, No revenge. You're the most precious thing in my life, I just . . . don't have the words to say what I want to."

Naruto said nothing for a while. He finally said, "So then what do you feel? What is love like?"

"My love for you is . . . " He gave it thought, "is the life in my body. My life is only fed each moment by your existence. If I could do anything, I would give you tenfold what you've given me. Without you, there is no light, there is only darkness until a light shines through. Naruto, you are my light! . . . It's the best thing ever, but it eats you inside out. I suffer while I feel great."

The longest of all silences came.

"Kiss me," said Naruto.

Sasuke looked at Naruto with puffy eyes. He had secretly been crying, and gave a look like 'what did he just say?'

Naruto looked back at Sasuke.

"Kiss me," he said again, "so I can try to understand."

Sasuke was frozen. Naruto saw a rare expression.

"Show me with your body, what you mean in your heart."

"Naruto?" Sasuke crept closer.

"What is it?"

"Why?"

"Because . . . how will I ever understand If I never try to. Maybe I can find as great a light within you. You're with me now because you listened to what I had to say. If you didn't let me in, I would still be chasing after you, trying to tell you about vengeance. The least I can do is listen back."

Sasuke leaned in for a kiss.

Sasuke and Naruto spent the rest of the evening on the sand. Both too exhausted to make it home, they fell asleep where they lay. When it became cold, they gave warmth to the other. Naruto didn't feel the same for Sasuke, but he decided to accept him. They would remain friends.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Three, Part Three: Three Way Role Play<span>

Ten Ten, Neji, and Kiba stood awkwardly in Ten Ten's pink room. They all were in costume, but didn't know how to proceed.

Ten Ten was dressed like a Native American; a head band with two feathers that she found on the ground, Moskins, faux fur shawl and nothing else besides red body paint that they all had fun painting on her earlier. Kiba and Neji drew pictures to each other as hidden jokes on places where Ten Ten couldn't see them, such as on her back and face. The pictures were mostly of genitalia.

Kiba was dressed like a cowboy. He had on the proper boots, hat, and cow pattern pants that opened up at the crotch to expose a red thong. He held a rope that he liked to pretend was a whip. A farmers tan was obvious on his bare chest.

Neji Had on one of Lee's suits that was spray painted to look like Spider-man's outfit. There was a lot of glitter. He had a matching mask with a zipper on the mouth. His Byakugan were peircing through the openings for his eyes. A hole was cut in the front of the suit to allow Neji's limp member freedom.

"So . . . what do we do, actually?" Asked Kiba.

Akamaru was humping one of Ten Ten's stuffed animals.

"Like Akamaru, I suppose?" Said Neji.

"Uhmm . . . I think you two need to get erections first."

"How?" Asked Neji.

"Just remember earlier when I was eating a hot dog and watched you until I was done. Then imagine me licking my fingers." Neji was turned on.

"Can I have a little help too?" Said Kiba.

"Watch Akamaru." Kiba became turned on as well.

"Now I need a little help." Said Ten Ten.

Neji and Kiba were clueless. Neji tried cupping one of Ten Ten's breasts.

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, it's good," she gave odd looks with her big brown eyes between Neji and Kiba.

Kiba cupped her other breast. They all felt so awkward.

Ten Ten got on her knees to give Kiba a blow job. She pulled back the foreskin, and was immediately disgusted. There was enough penis cheese to for nachos. Ten Ten pulled away. Her reaction cost Kiba his gristel missile.

"Err . . . wait, It's just admiring my kinky boots!" He tried to cover his shame by talking.

"You could use a kinky hat, then," said Neji.

"It's no use, he can't keep a full salute with all that penis cheese weighing it down," Said Ten Ten.

"That's too bad. A failed bone-her," Neji teased.

Eventually, things got moving. Ten Ten was on top of Neji.

"Neji!"

"Ten Ten!"

"Neji!"

"Ten Ten!"

"Hey, Are you just going to ignore me!" Demanded Kiba, angry he hadn't got any for over twenty minutes.

"Do something then," said Ten Ten.

"Okay, I'm coming in doggy style."

"No thanks. I can roll over and play dead for you," she replied. Things just weren't going well for Kiba.

Kiba started slapping his dick on a vagina that Neji had painted on her left shoulder.

"Stop it," she said.

"Fine. I'm leaving if that's how it's going to be." They paid no attention to him. "Not like either of your costumes were any good, anyways." He left with Akamaru.

"I'm glad he's finally gone," she said.

"Me too," concurred Neji.

When they finished, they played Scramble. Glitter from the suit was everywhere. On the bed, on the floor, all over Ten Ten, and somehow got inside the suit to Neji. A shower didn't help much in getting rid of the glitter. Before Neji arrived home for the night, he returned Lee's suit.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter three, part four: Interrogation<span>

Lee sat in a chair. His eyes were full of tears. "Perhaps you'd like me to resort to more draconian methods!" Yamato's voice echoed in Lee's mind. The inspiration fear itself was in that man's face.

Two men by the names of "Yamato" and "Ibiki" watched the boy from a window where he could not see them.

"I think he's harmless," reported Yamato, "He just needs a little psychological therapy. I suggest two months or more.

"I trust your word. I'll tell him the news." Said Ibiki.

Lee's eyes dashed to the door when the man called Ibiki entered. "Okay, listen up kid. We're going to let you off on this one. However, you are going to have to attend the 'Pshyco Therapy Program' at the leaf hospital for the next two months, six A.M. sharp!. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Sir!" Saluted Lee.

"Dynamic entry!" Cried Might Guy, busting through a wall. "Lee! Lee, are you alright?"

"Yes, sensei! Thank you for your concern!" Lee gave his teacher a thumbs up.

_This guy is his teacher?_ Thought Ibiki. _According to what Intel gathered, this kid worships that guy. Haha, that guy, that Guy. Oh yeah, I was thinking: This is going to be a long road for that kid._ He slapped his forehead, then shook it miserably.

Lee walked off with Guy from the entry he had made.

"So, Lee, How was your outlet?" Guy asked.

"Very good. But what do I do now?"

"Now is your last chance. If you fail, can no longer pursue Sasuke," Guy said dramatically.

Lee gasped. "Sensei, what it is it?"

Guy paused for effect. "Lee, your last hope . . . is to capture Sasuke!" Lee was amazed. "Now, this way, if you succeed, he will have no choice but to succumb to your youth."

Lee's eyes were wide. "Sensei, once I capture him, then what? How can I be assured that he's mine after I capture him?"

"Ha ha ha." Guy smiled and leaned in, epic shadows on his face. "We make him marry you."

Lee was too mind blown to speak. " . . . wh- . . . we . . . get married?"

"Yes. It is the only whay."

"I promise, I will do it this time! Sasuke, prepare your vows! I'm off, sensei! Thank you!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Lee raced through the village. The first birds of the morning were chirping. How will I capture Sasuke?_ I need a surefire method . . . one of great stealth, a mastery of tricks._ He saw an old man walk down the street. As Lee watched the elder hobble innocently with a cheap broom, an idea slowly festered in his mind. The broom swept debris unknowingly into a dustpan. And the guy was old. A light bulb appeared above his head. "Aha!"

"Sasuke!" Lee yelled, again and again.

Sasuke awoke, his face in Naruto's lap. He looked up.

"Sasuke, come here!" Lee called.

"Sheesh, what do you want?"

"Come up here, I'll show you."

"What's this all about?" He snapped, atop the raised platform, level with Lee.

"Want some candy?"

Lee had a rusty old-fashioned oven atop a cart. Candy was inside the oven.

"Go ahead and climb in. You like candy, don't you?" Lee opened the oven door as far to the side as it could go. And what, oh what, could Sasuke say? He was so irritated.

"Get lost." He headed back to where Naruto was.

"No! Sasuke, come and get the candy!"

"Listen up, wanna be pedophile. You are the dumbest person I have ever known. Go home or train, what ever ridiculous activity you want to do, just go away. I rejected you for a reason. Now leave me alone." Sasuke didn't look back.

"If my trap didn't work, then all I have left is force!" Lee charged at Sasuke.

Lee's arms were outstreched, hands ready to grab and shove Sasuke into the oven cage. Sasuke, however, vanished not a second after Lee's assault, and was behind Lee.

_So fast!_

"This better be the last time I see your face."

Sasuke, with speed superior to Lee's, shoved Lee into the oven and slammed the door. He then kicked the cart, sending it rolling down the tall, slanted street. Lee wailed as the wheels hit uneven stones down the long hill.

_No, I don't like candy._ He thought, watching the cart tip over at the bottom, then looked at the candy he had managed to snatch._ But Naruto might._

"Hey, Naruto, wake up."

"No."

"You have to go home, Idiot."

"Mmm-mm."

"Get off the sand. You could get ring worm."

Naruto sat up and tried to recognize who was talking. They left for their homes, grogily.

The comotion had woken up Sakura. she stirred slightly, and opened her eyes. The movement made Hinata aware, and she opened her eyes too.

"H-Hinata!" Gasped Sakura. "Your hair!"

"S-sakura, y-your face!"

they felt where the other had mentioned and screamed in unison. They found everythin that was wrong.

Hinata left for home with her humility, Sakura with her ring worm.

Ino was the only one left at the beach now. She had eaten a massive amount of vodka soaked gummy-bears, and was sleeping off the hangover. Although, the sun did rise to greet her, whom slowly began to burn her skin.


	4. Chapter 4

**If you're reading this, thanks for making it this far! And, if you think things will be getting toned down, you're wrong: things are going to get real tasty starting now. :) Mmmmmmmmmmm.**  
><strong>And FYI, the stupidity is supposed to be funny. hehe ha hahh.<strong>  
><strong>I do not own the stories retold by Alvin Schwarts in his book.<strong>  
><strong>I kinda really like leaving messages up here. Thanks for favoring my soul, Melikalilly, ChibiKanachan. I love you all. Thank you for your time reading my story.<strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Four, Part One: Discovery<span>

Lee was pounding all his emotion into the rock with his fists. To cope with failure, to numb the pain of lasting rejection. He grunted as his fists puffed dust from whence they hit. The orange stone, much like Sasuke, took in none of his efforts. The heat of the training ground sapped his water supply; his momentum made sweat rain. He heaved.

_Must keep on going._ He said to himself, depriving himself luxury of drink and rest._ It cannot be over yet, it cannot-_ he fell to the ground, exhausted. He stayed on the hot dirt. _Why should I even bother to get up? It's not like Sasuke will be there to take my hand when I stand up._ A tear rolled down the side of his face, a heavy tax on his internal water-tower. He could not keep his throat burring forever. He sought water.

Lee came across a ravine that fed many berry-bushes. He lapped water from the stream like a cat. It wasn't working for him, so he instead drank normally. He sat in the cool shade as he admired Nature's bloody, ripe spheres. The berries looked so good . . . .

He plucked a berry. *Crunch*. An awful lot like goose-berry texture, but currant color. It was bitter. Addictive. He ate another. They were . . . odd. He had never tried them before. He ate another.

Lee passed the time grazing upon berries. He over ate. But felt satisfied for the time being. In fact, he felt great. He stood up, heightened energy, racing mind. He had his spirit back. He was put in a good mood by his feelings of creativity._ I must be a genius,_ he reflected, as every thought felt legendary._ I have so many ideas, I should get back to the village so I can write them down._

_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ._

Something wasn't right here. He couldn't tell, but he figure his strange hunch could offer a hint; hostility. Could it be that someone in the village meant ill-will? Who was it?

"Hey, Lee." Greeted Kiba as Lee walked by.

Lee Knew Kiba, He was a trusted comrade. He hoped he could rely on him. His gut felt funny and light, his mind oddly focused; He should play along with the game of conversation; he knew not yet his motives.

"Greetings, Kiba. How are you?" Lee made a flawless comeback. Now to hear kiba's move.

"Fine. Things are same as always, no missions. You?" He was lazy and casual.

This Made Lee angry; who did he think he was, talking to him saying "fine" like that? "Hah," Lee forced a single laugh, showing Kiba who really knew how to play. "I see you're up to playing the game. Fine by me. Let's begin."

Kiba gave him a funny look._ What the heck is he talking about?_

"You lost. Be smart and you might not lose." The pause was to long for Lee. Time to start again.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"So you're not capable. Try me once more."

"Lee. Fucking be clear or get the fuck out of here!" He spazzed. After taking a deep breath, he then apologized. "I'm sorry, Lee. It's just that things haven't been going to well lately. I'm just grumpy. And sexually frustrated- you know?"

Lee immediately felt bullets of guilt. He had been so hasty to be on the defence. It's so depressing when you have to watch your back, and then you can be so close to someone. _why?_

"Anyways, I'm just waitin' here for Hinata. Wanted to meet me here for some reason."

Lee became suspicious. Why? he asked. It hit him; Kiba and Hinata were the culprits! They were up to something, and his feelings had caught on.

"Hey, Kiba." Breathed Hinata, whom had come around from a corner. She wore a hod to cover her face and head, her eyes down cast. Somehow, over the course of time since her wakening, she had become fat. She clung an orange envelope in her arms as if it determined her life.

_Secret documents!_ Lee hissed to himself. He had to get a hold of them, he had to know what they were about.

"Hey Hinata. Why did you want to met me here?"

"Um . . . I'd like you to deliver this to his apartment, please." She held out the large envelope with both her hands, avoiding eye contact.

"Ugh, another letter to Naruto? Why do you do this weird stuff?"

"Uhm . . . "

"It's fine, don't worry. I'll get it to him. . . . And by the way," Kiba was hesitant, "Uh . . . please don't take it the wrong way but . . . well . . . have you erm . . . gained a few?"

"Uh . . ." Hinata's hidden face turned red. "Uhm . . . y-yes. . . . I . . . uhm was . . . e-emotional eating."

"Oh, Hinata, is everything alright?"

"I . . . I-I'm not supposed to be out of the house . . . you see. . . I'm grounded, . . . and I can't leave until my hair grows back." She broke down crying. Kiba tried to console her.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Lee had seen Akamaru everywhere. The dog would run in the corner of his eye, and he would look but never find him. Hear him but never find him. Akamaru was like a spy for Kiba. He had to find the mutt and torture him about the file that Hinata's robot had. That file contained secrets about Lee's past lives, and he could not let the Hokage lay hands on it, no matter what. He dashed around. Hide and seek with Akamaru was not fun.

Neji came up to Lee, asking, "Hey, Lee, are you alright?"

More verbal games. Neji was a distraction to delay him. "I know what that you're doing! Stop or I've been a good a time to stop!" Lee's words were as tossed as a salad.

"Lee, I've been watching you. Are you alright?"

"So. Hah. Spying all over me, taking a look at me, and you don't get anywhere when you spy, taking a look and seeing nothing." Lee had a hostel tone. He was only trying to protect himself.

"I think you might need to come to the Leaf Hospital with me," said Neji, concerned for his teammate.

"Hah. You don't play the game so well, so well so of a genius!"

"Uh . . . Lee, follow me. We need to take out the underground people." Neji tried.

Lee's attention was _seized!_

"They are making zombie food with . . . uh coal and . . . cockroach brains."

"Oh no, so you know about the multi-universe too? Yeah, I think I've met you when I was time-traveling before, or in France or something. Do you remember the pendulum of the time-and-space continuum?" Lee practically sang.

" . . . Sure. Follow me." Neji said.

He lead the psychotic teen to the hospital. Long story short, Lee put up a fight once they arrived, claiming the hospital was a mind transfer base, and that he wanted to be in his clone's body, rather than be transferred into his original body that was killed fifty years ago, after accusing them of trying to pull this crime before. So the doctors stuck a needle in his bum and injected fluid to calm him down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Lee awoke in his bed.

"Mmmh," he groaned to himself.

"So you woke up from your little recovery nap, have you?" Neji was seated on a chair against a wall.

"Neji? . . . What happened? Why am I here?"

"You went psychotic, and I had to take you down to the hospital. Don't worry; A nurse checked you out. Turns out you were lacking the proper balance of vitamins and minerals for your body, she mentioned your diet was high in protein and not much else. Just eat more fruits and vegetables and you'll be fine."

"Oh, my high-protein diet. I was trying to increase muscle mass for Sasuke. I went psychotic, you say?"

"Cheah. You're alright now, but the stress of those poisonous berries was affecting you. However, they did have some of the nutrition you needed. You were Hallucinating and had some bazaar ideas." Neji explained.

"Hmm," Lee focused on Neji, "am I still seeing things, or are you wearing a vampire outfit?"

"Oh, no, you see: I'm wearing this because I hear that girls are turned on by vampires. I want to impress Ten Ten."

"Oh."

Neji barred his upper teeth saying, "vampire," Then barred his lower teeth saying, "werewolf." He thought for a moment, then said, with no intention of Lee understanding, "Kiba could join us, and play the part as a werewolf, but he's proven himself unworthy. See you soon, Lee. Hope you will be feeling better!" Neji left Lee's home.

Lee got up and went to the bathroom. On the toilet, set up as if sitting, was a glittery red and blue suit.

" . . . This . . . is . . . awesome!" He relished the creative creation. He put it on, and admired his free shlong, visible in the mirror.

He was lookin' sexy. He put the "e" in "sexy".

His penis slowly rose. He had no clue what to do about it. It throbbed, and he tried to ignore it. I'll tell you something: it didn't work. The erection consumed all his attention. It was aching.

_Should I try masturbating?_ He wondered. He had never masturbated before._ I think I will try it._

He was lying on his bed. Lee used his right hand to run his fingers over the lenght of the shaft as a test. The pleasure was tickling. He sheepishly gripped a base with veins, and slowly began pumps. He didn't feel much at first, but his senses slowly woke. The pleasure increased. He continued pumping, making it grow taller. His breathing deepened. He twisted the tip of his penis as if he twisting a bottle-cap. He moaned.

Lee's body was twitching with hot delight. His legs trembled. He wanted to extend his genitalia- to have it reach somewhere, in somewhere. The memory of his encounter with Sakura made him harder. If only she was here now.

He not only wanted to put it in, but get it in as well. He fantasised about Sasuke- no, Sakura, entering his anal region. He increased his pace. The pleasure took on a rhythmic pattern, which was, in its own nostalgic way, welcome. He want to take something in, badly. He increased his speed even more. He hit the flap of skin around his dick with each stroke. He had always thought the flap was strange, but he never paid real attention to it.

He groaned and moaned. His lenght became wet. He felt as if his penis was becoming shorter with each rough pull and push, when suddenly, it slipped out of his hands and he lost it.

_Where? Did I squash it?_ He looked frantically at where he had been touching. He felt . . . something inside him, someplace new. He saw the tip of his penis. He pulled on it, to discover that it slid out of him. _What is this?_ He tried sliding it back in. Success. He investigated the area, to find a hole where his penis had withdrawn. He stuck a finger in. It was warm, soft, and wet. He pushed his penis in even further to find a grove for it in the pleasure chamber. Lee thought Of Sakura._ Of course, we are the same!_ He finished, then ran off to find her, still in costume.

Ten Ten saw Lee in it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Lee knocked on Sakura's window.

"Lee?" She walked over to him and opened the window, surprised.

"Sakura, my love. I have realized that it is not Sasuke who I want, but rather, you! He was only a phase to prepare me for what we will have in store." Lee confessed, full of enthusiasm.

"Huh?"

"Sakura, the other other day it was me who you had sex with." He eyes widened. "I love you!"

"Ehh . . . Lee . . ."

"Sakura . . . we are the same."

She opened her mouth for words to slowly escape, "Could it be . . . ?"

He put his dick in his vagina. Sakura gasped. She locked her listening eyes with Lee's.

"Oh . . . Lee, you are the same!"

" . . . Um, Sakura, I hope you don't mind that I prematurely ejaculate."

"Oh, it's fine, I have a short attention span!"

They had a tight hug.

"Oh, cool. By the way, I have come up with a theory. It is that you are so violent and hit people because your hormones must be out of whack. You may subconsciously reject your male assets, so the hormones manifest themselves in your mental aspect, rather than physical, and thus, your aggression."

And with that Sakura gained a great deal of understanding. Her feelings blossomed for Lee. And could it really be? Could Sakura become both a father and mother, with a husband whom could also be a father and mother? She was ready to embrace a new future.

"I love you too, Lee." She remembered she had no eyebrows and hid her face.

"What's wrong?" Asked Lee.

"I don't have any eyebrows," She said, looking up.

A knock sounded on the open window. "Neither do I," Said Gaara. "It's not that bad, try embracing it."

"Sakura-chan, if you feel this way, I will share my eyebrows with you." He ripped off the bottom half of his eyebrows.

"Thank you, Lee, but I can wait until they grow back," said Sakura with a sheepish smile.

"I'll take them," said Gaara. Lee tossed Gaara the eyebrows. Gaara stuck them on as his own.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Four, Part Two: Dumb Blonde's Unite!<span>

Naruto awoke in his bed. He had slept late into the afternoon, but it was well worth it; he was rested. He felt unusual bumps in his pocket. He reached his hand in to find candy. _Since when did I have this?_

He heard loud knocking on his door in a fast pattern. He rolled out of bed and rolled to the door. He opened the door. No one was there.

"Bastard!" He yelled; he didn't deserve ding-dong-ditch. "Oh." He saw his mailbox on the wall open with a large orange envelope sticking out. He brought it inside.

Naruto sat down at his small kitchen table, then opened the envelope that had no markings on the outside. Inside he found a normal white envelope that was decorated with stickers and marker. He also found some braided hair that was glued together at both ends. _Did Hinata send me some hair?_ He was in shock by the sight.

It was normal for Hinata to send Naruto notes. She usually left a post-it on his door or would leave a letter. She would always say happy crappy slap that he could never understand. But sending _hair?_ She was such a creeper! Now hairs were getting everywhere.

He held his breath as he looked at the envelope. There were stickers of dinosaurs and cute chibi-like panda-bears to satisfy any cute-girls' desires. It also looked like she had practiced her calligraphy with marker. He could tell she liked him. And he could tell that she tried to make her notes and letters, and sometimes, even presents, seem just at a friendly level. Oh, when you can see through someone!

He had to admit, he's seen worse than the hair. One time she gave him a Frisbee with his face painted on it. Once she wrapped a shoebox in newspaper and inside was a pair of his pants and pictures of when he was asleep. In one photo, Hinata had given him cornrows. She gave him a drawing of herself naked once. But usually, she just gave him a sculpture made of grass, mud, sticks, and rocks. She would leave the sculptures on the ground in-front of his door, and he always had to clean it up, after he stepped on it by accident, of course.

As for the letters and notes, usually she would tell him stuff he didn't give a rat's ass about, such as her thoughts on gay marriage or her preference of food. She would often leave post-its on his door that said things like, "Have a good day, Naruto-kun," or "If I had twenty dollars, I'd buy you".

_What has she given me today?_

Inside the envelope was a paper just as decked-out with stickers. The note read:

_Hey Naruto,_  
><em>It's just me again (Hinata). Just sending you another gift. I won't be able to see you in person for a while, because I'm grounded. Here is some of my hair. I'd like you to put it in your mouth, but you don't have to swallow it if you don't want to. If you don't want to swallow it, I suggest you burn it; I like the smell of burring hair. I went down, down, down, into a burring ring of fire. I burned, burned, burned, and the flames went higher. I think I might send you a painting. Like a painting of my room. I have a painting of your room in my room, and I was just thinking that maybe some nights we would both look into the paintings and pretend they were portals to see and talk to each other. I'm going to send you a short story I'm writing. It's about two people who fall in love. Their names are Naro and Hina. Um . . . Naruto, do you like flashlights? I have an extra one, and I painted it orange, so I'll send that to you. I'm running out of space, so tty soon. or c u soon. g2g.<em>  
><em>-Hinata<em>

She drew music notes around a group of dinosaurs. One had a talk bubble that said, "groovy," another had a hat drawn on.

At the bottom right corner there was a brown stain with a circle drawn around it and an arrow that said "scratch and sniff" Naruto scratched and sniffed as directed. He smelt something nasty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Temari watched Shikamaru from a distance. Shikamaru was in Ino's flower shop, talking with her. Temari suspiciously watch Ino, full of envy, but hoping that Shikamaru would buy flowers for her.

Ever since the beach party, she wanted his genitals. At the party she tried to show off and catch his eye by being the center of attention, having fun like a whore. She had tried to flirt with him and confessed her attraction (she's got guts), but he just said that he didn't know her well and that she was a bit too spunky.

"For some reason she's been following me all morning," said Shikamaru to Ino.

"Hm," Ino listened to the gossip attentively with a small smile. She had severe sunburn on the front half of her body. From falling asleep on the beach, no doubt.

"Just like how she was following me around at the party last night. I would turn around and she would be looking at me. She never left my sight because she was always so close."

"Shikamaru's gotta girlfriend," Ino teased.

He sighed lazily.

"Well, I'm glad you stopped in here, even if it was to get away from her."

"It's just so annoying."

"Why don't you just tell her to stop?"

"Yeah, but it's all just a drag."

_Why is he taking so long in there?_ Temari was sweating from the heat of the roof and sun. He finally exited the cool building. As he started to walk down the road, Temari jumped atop another building to keep up. He kept walking, and she decided to follow among the thin crowd, closer to him. He turned around.

For a quick disguise, she whipped out her fan and stuck the bottom into the ground. She peered out an elevated side._ Good, I don't think he saw me._ He continued walking.

He turned the corner and walked down a shaded ally. She ran and hid behind a dumpster. Suddenly, she felt his Kekigenkai._ Damn it! I was careless!_

Shikamaru said nothing. He had planned to lure her in the shadows, and it wasn't very hard to trick her into the coolness of shade after being in the heat all morning. He kept a strait face as he walked leisurely across the street. As he took a step to side, her body followed, ten feet right behind him. He stepped back in the line he was walking in and Temari saw what he had stepped around. A pole. He he made no effort to stop her course from colliding with the cylinder. She was over come with fear as he lead his body foreword, face first, jumped then released his jutsu. She hit the pole.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

_That bastard!_ Temari brooded._ Who does he think he is, doing something like that to a lady?_ She was sitting in a tree. She was so frustrated, she began to cry.

Lee came by. He headed toward the tree, and landed on a branch to find someone crying.

"Huh? Hey, What's wrong?" He asked.

"I w-was rejec-ted!" she choked out.

"I see." He was quiet for a moment, reflecting on his experience. He finally said, "You know, I usually cry in this tree. And . . . I would cry over my rejection as well."

Their moment was beginning.

"Y-you came here to cry as well?" She looked to see who it was.

"I'm not sure how or why I got here. I just appeared. But anyways, I have some advice from past experience, if you would like to hear it."

"Yes, please."

"There are three steps my sensei had me take before giving up. First was to prove your worth and win them over with your convincing. If that didn't work, you go to step two, and use a sexual-outlet. If your desire is not satisfied after that, your last hope is to use brute force to make them yours, aka kidnap them and force them to marry you."

"So, how did that work out for you?"

"Actually, I found someone else I wanted more, and came here to cry of relief."

"So . . . you're saying I should try to win him over, even after a rejection?"

"Yes," Lee gave a thumbs up, "Don't give up!"

"So . . . do you have any ideas?"

"Hm . . . tell me a little about your situation." Temari told him how she became infatuated last night, and she and Lee became so intimate that she even told him about how she stalked him earlier.

"I think, what you need to do is to become friends with Ino,"

"What?"

"The girl who works at the flower shop. She is his teammate."

"And then I meet Shikamaru through her!" Temari inferred. "Thanks, Lee! see you later, alligator!"

"In a while, crocodile!"

Temari headed for the flower shop, as Lee began to cry happily in the tree.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Temari heard the ringing from the small bell on the door as she entered the shop. "Huh, what's that?" she muttered. "Oh no, time for my next class already?" Haha, doorbells.

"Oh, no! It's time for class?" Exclaimed Ino.

Temari remembered her task to make the girl her friend. She approached her, trying to remember her name. A name tag that said "Ino" was off to the side on her blue apron.

"Oh, cute! What's the other one's name?" Asked Temari, thinking her boob had a name.

"Huh? Oh, Hi, my name is Ino. Welcome. What's your name?"

"Temari."

"Where? We aren't in the kitchen," said Ino, thinking of the spice.

"I know, we're in a flower shop. My name is Temari."

"Oh, hi Temari! Welcome!"

"You're nice! Do you want to be my friend?"

"Best friend!"

"B-f-f?"

"Yes!"

"Oh my god!" They jumped up and down, breasts jiggling.

"We need to have a sleep over!" Said Ino with a big smile.

"Over where?" Asked Temari, "Hey guess what?"

"What?"

"I like some 1!"

"O-m-g! Who?"

"Shikamaru!"

"O-m-g, he's my teammate! Let's have a sleep over and we can both have our crushes be there!"

"Now _way_!" Temari had a huge smile.

"_Way_!"

Naruto walked into the shop, sexy jutsu style. "Can I come too?" Girl Naruto purred.

"Naruto, I know it's you!" Accused Ino.

Sasuke entered the shop too. "If Naruto doesn't come, I won't go," he black mailed.

"What? Sasuke, I though you didn't like Naruto." Ino was surprised.

"Believe me," he was talking more to Naruto than any one else. He leaned into Naruto's ear and whispered, "I like Naruto."

Naruto gulped. He was still in sexy jutsu mode. The smoke was clearing, so he had to add some more.

A light-bulb burned out. Ino and Temari shrieked.

"I think I have to change it," Said Ino.

"How many dumb blonds does it take to change a light-bulb?" Said Sasuke.

Everyone was quiet as they thought. "Three!" Said Naruto. "One to think of how to do it, one to hold the light-bulb, and one to turn the ladder around!"

"Which one am I?" Asked Temari.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Four, Part Three: Sleepover<span>

More People came than Ino had planned. The guests are as follows: Sasuke, Naruto, Temari, Shikamaru, Ten Ten, and Sai.

Ino had a big house, and more furniture than most homes did. Everyone was gathered in a large, square entertaining room with enough mattress and pads and quilts for everyone. The paper-like walls were blue with painted flowers.

They were all gathered in a circle, snacking on chips and nuts.

"Hey, Naruto. Do you want to eat my nuts?" Offered Sasuke, holding a bag toward the blond.

Naruto took a handful, oblivious to his friend's meaning.

"Naruto is like a squirrel," said Sai, gaining everyones' attention, "He likes nuts."

They laughed at Naruto. He angrily said "Sai is like a ghost. You don't notice him usually."

"I _love_ nuts," Said Temari, searching for a reaction in Shikamaru.

Shikamaru told a joke. "What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?" There was a pause, "We need some support soon, or people are going to think we're nuts." They laughed some more, what a great time they were having!

"Hey, I think it's about time we opened up that Twister box," said Sasuke.

"Yeah, great idea, Sasuke!" Ino tried to brown nose.

"I've never played Twister before," Naruto said.

"It's really fun," said Ten Ten brightly. Ino unfolded the mat, circles of green, red, yellow, and blue.

"You spin this wheel, then put your hand or foot on the color it says," Twenty explained.

"Oh, simple enough."

Sasuke had a small smile.

"What's that face for?" Asked Naruto.

"Nothing, I think you'll _really_ enjoy it."

The first game was of Naruto, Sasuke, Ten Ten, and Ino. Naruto did have a lot of fun. He was in a crab stance, straining to hold his position. Sasuke was beside him, on all fours, belly downward.

"It's Sasuke's turn next," said Temari spinning for him, "left hand yellow."

He reach over Naruto. Their faces were close. Sasuke look at Naruto. Naruto tried to avoid eye contact, but Sasuke didn't look away.

"Naruto," she spun the wheel, "right foot red."

He had to stretch his leg under Sasuke.

Sasuke cheated, and used his Sharingon. It was his turn next, and his left foot was to go on yellow. He was over Naruto. They waited for their next turn, Sasuke still looking at Naruto.

Ino was disappointed; how come she had to be so far away from Sasuke on the mat? Ten Ten was having fun, and Naruto had noticed that Sasuke had been following him.

"How are you liking Twister?" Sasuke whispered to Naruto.

"Me? Hah, someone is enjoying it more than I ever could. That's you."

Sasuke's next planned move was move His right foot on red, thus bringing him closer to Naruto's face.

"You prev! Get your dick out of my view!" Sasuke laughed.

Naruto's next move was to move his hand to green, which was directy under him. It would put him off balance, and he would have to be inches from Sasuke's crotch.

Yeah, and imagining the rest of the game being like this for Naruto.

The next game Temari, Shikamaru, Ino, and Sai played. Temari tried to do flirty positions for Shikamaru, but he would move away, given the chance. When Sai reached over Ino, she was immensely turned on. At the end of the game, she lead him into her bedroom.

She had him sit on her white bed next to her.

"What did you bring me here for?" He asked.

She gently lead his hand above her area 51.

"Hmm?"

She gave him big, sexy eyes.

"Well, what is it?"

She rubbed his hand slowly into her skirt. "I think it's obvious."

Sai had little knowledge about sex. He asked if he could read a book about it, but she said she would help him. Since he insisted further more, she had him read a few pages of "Your Period and You". Ino had to guide him through what to do. She enjoyed being the boss, however. Sai eventually started to enjoy it, and they got movin'.

"S-sa . . . Sa . . . Sa-ah!"

"It's Sai."

"S-sasuke!"

It was a quickie. They were back with group as soon as they had left.

Sai says to Shikamaru, "Ino has a vagina like a cat."

"What do you mean?" He asked, "It's furry?"

"No, it stretches upward."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was dark. Turn-off-the-lights-and-all-you-got-is-the-moon dark. Dark and late.

"It's becoming the fun hours," commented Ino.

"Yeah, any ideas to what we should do?" Ten Ten addressed the group.

"How about we tell some scary stories?" Suggested Naruto.

"I'll bet you're going to get scared," said Sasuke flirtatiously.

"Only little kids and girls get scared."

"Alright, little miss Naruto. I'll tell the first story."

Before Sasuke began, Sai whispered to Shikamaru so only he could hear, "Ino has a vagina like a butt."

"What do you mean?"

"It farts."

Sasuke turned off all the lights. It was pitch black. You could only tell where he was by his voice. He walked around the circle.

"Once, a farmer child named Naruto went out to the garden to do his work." He spoke slowly in a low voice. "He came across a big toe sticking out of the soil. He tried to pick it up, but it was stuck. He gave it a hark whack with his hoe-" some laughed at the word, "And it came off. He heard a groan and ran away."

"That night, Naruto had the toe for supper. It got dark, then he went to bed. In the middle of the night, a sound awakened him.

" 'Where is my to-o-o-o-e?' it groaned"

"Naruto became scared and pulled the sheets over his head. 'If I go to sleep, it will be gone in the morning,' he told himself. But soon he heard the back door open.

" 'Where is my to-o-o-o-o-e?' It groaned. The boy heard foot steps move through the kitchen," Sasuke's voice became slower, deeper. "Naruto heard footsteps move slowly through the living room, then go up the stairs. 'Where is my to-o-o-o-o-o-e?' It's voice was louder."

"The boy, shaking with fear, heard the footsteps stop behind his door. 'Where is my to-o-o-o-o-e?' The door knob twisted, and the door creaked inward. He heard the foot steps stop at his bed. 'Where is my to-o-o-o-e?' "

It was silent. No one breathed.

"YOU'VE GOT IT!" screamed Sasuke, grabbing Naruto from behind.

"AHHHH!" He jumped.

The lights came on, Sasuke laughed.

"You got scared, dobe!"

"No I didn't! I was surprised, teme! That's all!" Naruto denied.

"It's alright. I'll hold you if you're that scared." He teased and flirted.

Naruto grunted with his teeth clenched in anger. "You just tell another story! I won't jump next time!"

"Are you sure, Naruto? Are you sure you won't jump?"

"Yeah, yeah, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

Sasuke turned off the lights again. Before he started, Sai whispered to Shikamaru," Ino has a vagina like an ice-cream sunday."

"What do you mean, it's sweet?"

"No, she had strawberry sauce."

Saskue paused before he began again, captivating the attentions.

"Legened tells of a haunted house, where each night a bloody head would fall from the chiminey. At least, that's what people said. So no one would spend the night there. One day . . . a rich man offered five hundred dollars to whoever could do it. A young man named Naruto said he would do it, If he could bring his dog, Akamaru with.

"The very next night, the boy entered the manor with his dog. He heard the howling wind, and decided to make the place a little more comfortable by lighting a fire in the fireplace. He sat there with his dog and waited. For a while, nothing happened. But a little after midnight, he heard soft singing out in the woods. It went something like:

" 'Me tie dough-ty walker'."

"Then his dog answered the song. 'Lynchee kincky colly molly dingo dingo'."

"The boy could not believe his dog said something. Then he heard the singing closer and louder."

" 'Me tie dough-ty walker'!

"As his dog started singing again, he tried to stop him, but could not. 'Lynchee kinchy colly molly dingo dingo'!

"He didn't hear the singing until half an hour later. Atop the chimeny echoed down, 'ME TIE DOUGH-TY WALKER'!

"He tried to keep his dog quiet, but he sang louder than ever. 'LYNCHEE KINCHY COLLY MOLLY DINGO DINGO'!"

Sasuke said loud and fast, "suddenly a bloody head fell out of the chimney and landed on the floor, missing the fire. The dog died of fright. The head turned it's face to Naruto and- AHHHHHHHHHHH!" He stamped his foot behind Naruto.

Sasuke's screaming made Naruto jump again.

The lights came on and Sasuke laughed again.

"Wow! that story scared me to a death!" Exclaimed Temari, hoping to get Shikamaru's attention.

"Then why aren't you dead?" He asked.

Sai said to Shikamaru, Ino has a vagina like a pearl."

"What do you mean? It's valuabel?"

"On the inside. The outside is an ugly clam."

"Okay, Let's lighten the mood a little. Truth or dare!" Said Ten Ten.

"Hey, you're copying other fanfics!" Said Sai.

"So? It will still be fun," she replied. "Not like we haven't used the term 'raven'."

"Yeah, well you'd think people would try be a little original," he said.

"Hey. _You_ try being original."

"Alright, Let's make double-dares where it involves two people, or triple-dares for three people and so on. And, if you reject a truth or dare question, the group will decide on a truth-or-dare you have to do, no matter what."

"Good enough for me," said Ino, "anyone not playing?"

Everyone played. Ino started, clock wise. "Sasuke, truth or dare?"

"Dare." This meant Naruto had do a dare or else he would be a wimp.

"I dare you to hump the wall." Sasuke did it for ten seconds, flowing like water, and it made Ino wet.

"Ten Ten," Sasuke said.

"Truth."

"Who would you sleep with in this room?"

"You," she stated bluntly. Ino sent her a venomous glare. "Temari, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What was your first sexual experience?"

"A mechanical bull. Shikamaru, Truth or dare?"

He sighed. "Truth."

"Would you date me?"

"Eh . . . look, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but probably not. Sai."

"Dare."

"Say something about Ino's vagina."

"Ino's vagina is like a mouth, . . . it has teeth." Sai looked at the last person to go, who was glaring at Sasuke._ Is he mad at Sasuke? I read that when people are angry, they need to blow off steem. Hmm, what should I say?_ "Naruto, truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course." _I'm going to outdo Sasuke, beleive it!_

"Wrestle Sasuke. It's a double-dare."

Sasuke smirked. "Ready, loser?"

Naruto charged at him. Sasuke dodged the onslaught and used it to his advantage by pinning Naruto facedown to the ground. Sasuke struggled to keep him there. Naruto squirmed, uncomfortably; he could feel Sasuke's junk on his ass, and it was getting harder. They were both strong. Naruto pushed him off and tackled him. Sasuke tried to free his arms from Naruto's embrace, but could only push him away with his feet. He lunged at Naruto, and they fell to the side. Sasuke pushed Naruto's knees outward in a butterfly stretch. Since he was on top, it was extremely sexual.

_It's Twister all over again!_ Naruto thought.

Sasuke laughed. Naruto scowled, he had to compete and push him off.

"Go, Sasuke!" Cheered Ino.

Sakura burst in through the door. She saw for herself how sexual the posture was.

"Naruto, you come with me!" She shouted, "and thanks for inviting me, Ino pig!"

"Huh?" Naruto made a confused noise. Sakura grasped his nose and pulled him out the room. "Ow, ow, Sakura, ow!" She threw him in another room, stepping in and closing the door. "Sakura, what's this all about?"

"Answer me, Naruto." She had an exaggerated, fake friendliness. "You like me, right?"

"Uh . . . ," He blushed, "Yeah, well sorta."

"Then, well, I don't know but, would you be interested in staying in here with me?"

"Stay in here?"

"Yeah, want to do it with me?"

Naruto laughed at that last question, he enjoys the immature approach, but don't we all! Sakura punched him for it.

"I'm serious here. I will have sex with you."

"Wh-wha?" Naruto wasn't sure he heard her correctly. He knew he did when he saw her hand pull a zipper downward, separating her erotic-red attire.

"Uh, Sakura, listen. I'd . . . well . . . actually prefer these kinds of things to be . . . you know . . . a little more special."

"So I'm not special?"

"No! I mean-"

"Naruto, I'm only asking you to pleasure me. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But think of it this way: you'll be getting practice for later so you can be ahead of the game." Her dress dropped to the ground. She hugged him. "You would only pleasure me . . . right?"

Naruto eventually said "alright."

They were in Ino's bedroom. Sakura sat against the headboard of her bed, and slowly began touching herself. Naruto replaced her hand with his.

"Does she have any lube, or lotion anywhere?" Sakura asked, meaning, "Naruto, find something".

Naruto found a gold bottle of lotion atop a shelf in the closet, and squirted some into his palm. Before he could touch Sakura with it, she demanded he warmed it up first. He felt a little nervous.

He caressed her body first, using some of the lotion to excite her inner thighs. Soft and gentile, Sakura rolled her eyes back as he finally began to stoke her clitoris. It was slow and wet. She enjoyed it but conveyed nothing, seeming a sexual corpse.

Sasuke had been standing outside the door, and wanted to stop Naruto from what he was doing, but he couldn't move.

Naruto stuck his middle finger into her moist cavern, then withdrew it. Repeating the act, he began to move a little faster, gradually adding another finger. Sakura spread her legs far apart.

Naruto stuck his middle finger into her moist cavern, then withdrew it. Repeating the act, he began to move a little faster, gradually adding another finger. Sakura spread her legs farther apart. Her breathing came faster. Naruto stuck his fingers around, feeling what the inside was like, when he felt a strange coloum. He made a face without realizing it. Sakura silently begged for him to ignore it. He did just the opposite. He gripped it with his fingers, tugging.

"What's this?" He asked. It became harder. He foung his tugging brought it down a little.

Sakura was too mortified to say anything, Naruto pulled her penis out of her vagina.

He got off the bed, stepping backwards. There was a living hell in that moment, festering in both of them.

Naruto was to shocked to speak. Sakura was to embarrassed to speak. Naruto ran from the room.

Sasuke, who was still standing outside, nonchalantly asked, "What's wrong?"

"S-s-s-s-s-s-sakura h-h-has a p-penis!"

"So? I have a penis."

"B-but she has both!_ That's not normal!_" He ran to go wash his hands.

Sakura left the room, her dress on. She saw Sasuke and smirked. "So, my plan worked after all, huh?"

Sasuke glared at her.

"Looks like I made the 'ol Sasuke jealous." She spoke as if she were superior. "So, what Lee told me is true. Once I saw you over Naruto like that when I came in, I knew for sure you liked him. "

"You aren't seriously planning on persuing me further after this, are you?" Sasuke was too cool to genuinely care about the answer.

"No. I wanted to get back at you for wasting my time."

"Are you sure It's my fault your time was wasted?"

Sakura realized it wasn't. She left without speaking, knowing Ino was no longer a threat to take her Sasuke. She would have him eventually, mark her words. If he would finally go for girls, that is. For now, she would settle for Lee until the day.

Sasuke was about to close the door when he noticed the gold bottle of lotion on the floor. _That's an odd color for a lotion container,_ He thought. He picked it up. "Bronze lotion, fake tan" it read._ Sakura probably won't wash herself off tonight, and will wake up with tan genitals._ (Sakura doesn't wash herself off.)


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own the movie, "The Labyrinth". I do not own David Bowie's music.**  
><strong>This note may help you in the story.<strong>  
><strong>Note: this is where I copy "The Labyrinth," using the ballroom scene of Sarah and David Bowie. You can choose if you want Sasuke's or David Bowie's voice for the music in the background. I recommend that you find the song "As The World Falls Down" on youtube, preferably with the ballroom video displayed. It may not be your taste in music, but once you finally open your heart to it, I promise you, it's magical. If you're too lazy to watch it, that's fine. But it's beautiful, in my opinion, so please do. You can Imagine Naruto wearing Sarah's dress if you want as well. And Sasuke with David's make-up. Haha, he'd look a little like Orochimaru. Kinda. Well, no.<strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Five, Part One: Sleepover (Continued)<span>

"Oh good, you're back," Ino addressed Sasuke and Naruto.

Temari was reading out loud.

"What's she doing?" Asked Naruto.

"She's reading Sakura's diary. Sai was dared to get it while you two were away."

Temari turned a page. "Dear diary, today I have to go on a mission. I'm planning on packing a bag of M&Mn's instead of skittles in my vagina this time. I have a craving for peanuts. Hopefully Naruto won't notice me eating them, he always wants some-" Naruto's eyes were white circles. "I wish Sasuke would share it with me. He never wants any. Anyways, I had such a romantic dream last night! Sasuke was brushing my hair, then he brushed my pubes. We were in a barbershop when he started to cut my hair. It was long again, but for some reason he cut a bald spot in the back of my head. He gave my pussy a shave, then my nipple hairs were cut off also. we cuddled in a back room that had a hot tub, and he went down on me. It was such a hot dream, I masturbated all morning just thinking about it. End of entry."

"Okay, now it's Ten Ten's turn to truth or dare before we read some more," Ino directed.

"Dare." Ten Ten was feeling adventurous.

"I triple-dare you to strip down to your underwear with Shikamaru and Sasuke." She gave temari a wink.

"And if we don't, the group decides another dare. Man, what a drag."

"Done." Sasuke pulled up his pants, then pulled his shirt over his toned torso. No one got a good look except for Sai, who had hearts in his eyes. Ino was furious.

Ten Ten and Shikamaru had to do it now that Sasuke had already done it. Ten Ten wore granny-panties. "What? it's laundry day," she excused. Shikamaru wore boxers with Sponge Bob print. Shikamaru had uneven nipples, and more chest hair than you would expect.

Naruto began, "Ten Ten-chan is kinda hot-" Sasuke hit him on the head.

"Opes, it was gravity."

"Sasuke!"

"Quiet down, I'm going to read more." Temari cleared her throat. "Dear diary, today I had another dream about Sasuke. This time we were part tiger, with our normal faces and genitalia . . . . Dear diary, last night I had a really steamy dream about Sasuke. We fucked on top of a rainbow, and he boned me the whole time we slid down. We landed in a pot of gold, where a short guy dressed in green entered me from behind. Dear diary, this time, We were back at the acadamy, and he knew of a secret hallway that lead to an underground spring where he fucked my brains out ."

"I have to go use the bathroom. Don't do anything until I get back." Ino Instructed and left, with a slight nose bleed.

Sasuke pulled out a brown book out from his pocket. "Ino's diary. Page fifty . . . dear diary, I had such an erotic dream about Sasuke. I was in a library when it started raining. He had a flash light and got naked in the dark. He flashed the light on his boner. He would move his boner in different positions, then flash the light to show me each different pose. For some reason we did it on a pile of mud. Dammit, that Sakura! Disturbing my dreams with her 'Ino pig' b.s!"

Ino came in, saying "What happened while I was gone?"

"Sasuke and I had a farting contest. I won," said Naruto.

"Ew."

"Who's turn is it?" Sasuke asked, changing the subject.

"Either you or Naruto," Ino said.

"Me me me!" Naruto jumped in his spot in the circle like an animal. A party animal!

"Wait, I have an idea. Sasuke, truth or dare?" Shikamaru asked.

"You do what ever one you want." Sasuke wanted to find out exactly what he had up his sleeve.

"Truth. Is this correct: the honey's sausage is preferable to tacos?" Leaf people didn't understand this kind of code.

"That's correct."

"Truth or dare, Naruto?" Shikamaru had a smirk on.

"Dare!" He gave a foolish grin. Sasuke glowered.

"Make-out with Sasuke." That's what his expression was about. Shikamaru caught on to Sasuke's emotions. And now he's toying with Naruto, like Jiriyah would.

Sasuke looked sad. Naruto looked like a sweaty horse.

"Why do I have to do that!" Naruto's fighting spirit had enthusiasm. "I just had a dare with him!"

"If you don't do it, we all get to decide a new dare for you." It was a threat.

The blond looked at who he tried not to see after he heard his dare. Sasuke didn't have an expression for him. "Are you going to do it?" the sexy man asked.

Shikamaru's face said something like "Do it or you're screwed."

"Screwing_ is_ a way to 'do it'." Naruto got the pun. Had his fun. Done. "Fine."

His stomach was tight as he sat in front of Uchiha. He avoided his gaze, because once he met his, he could never look away.

"Get to it," Shikamaru encouraged without empathy. Ino was boiling.

Without looking, the one dared leaned in. Sasuke used his arm to push him to the floor, an easy task to do if one is off balance.

"Sasuke, what the hell!"

"Don't even." He got up and left, saying nothing else.

"Great, look at what you did, Naruto! Shikamaru!" Ino was upset.

"I didn't think that would happen," Shikamaru defended.

"Rrrrah! That does it! Naruto, you have a new dare: go get Sasuke. After all, _you're_ the only reason he came." She seemed resentful.

Naruto, not wanting to stay and face Ino, quickly contemplated the right choice was to just do it. He ran after Sasuke.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke must have been running, because Naruto had to travel far to catch up with him. He caught him sitting on a bench that overlooked a distant forest. Guy was nearby, minding his own business. He had a net, and catching what looked to be moths at a street light.

Naruto huffed air as he approached Sasuke. "They want you back, come on."

Sasuke was quiet for a while. "Do you want the back of me- I mean- did you want me back?"

"I don't give a slop-of-sour-butt-crack whether you come back or not. But I have to bring you back, so come on."

"If you do that dare, now." He smirked.

"Look at you! You've always got that smile. Can't you do anything else with your face?"

"Then I'll say it how I really feel." He stood up, walked in front of Naruto, relaxed his face, warmed his eyes, and whispered "You can kiss me, if you want."

" . . . Let's just go back. You're giving me the creeps."

"Naruto! Why do I even keep trying?"

"You tell me! I don't get you! Why is my friend trying to kiss me?"

"Were you listening to me when I was talking to you? Naruto, quit playing dumb! How come you didn't seem so reluctant to kiss me earlier?"

"I don't know. It was a d-"

"Mixed signals! you go along with it, then run away! You get worked up about it, then have an indifference!"

"I don't want to think about it. I don't have an answer. Let's just go back."

"I'll go back if you can beat me in a game of tag."

"What? Tag?"

"Yes, you have to tag me before I reach my house, then if I can't get you back before we reach Ino's, I'll go."

"Fine by me. Not like it will be a challenge or anything!"

"Catch me, then!" Sasuke flew. Naruto chased after him.

Sasuke was fast. He summoned shadow clones to help, only to come back as fast with memories of Sasuke kicking their ass.

"You have to have your real self touch me!" came a memory.

"No problem, I'm right here!" Naruto ran around the corner and missed Sasuke by hairs. Sasuke landed on top of a building.

"If you don't get me before I reach my house, you'll have lost."

"I'll get you, believe it!"

The chase was continued. Naruto added as much burst as he could to his speed. Sasuke, sensing his physical determination, cut sharply to the side, leaving Naruto to pass his previously occupied space. A shadow clone aimed for a punch around the corner, forcing a kick from Sasuke. That was all the time real Naruto needed to catch up. With a yellow flash, Sasuke's arm was caught.

Naruto chuckled through his teeth.

"I'll give you three seconds."

Sasuke was high tailing Naruto, faster than they were going before. It took every ounce of concentration to respond to what was in front of them, lest they crash.

Naruto lost Sasuke, buy sheer luck; their speeds were quite rivaled. Sasuke could sense Naruto in the empty street.

"This is tag, not hide-and-seek." Naruto crept away, Sasuke hot on his trail. Hiding, however, seemed the way Naruto was going to make it be, as if it would be a problem to seek. "Sharingon!"

He saw the boundless chakra of Naruto, escaping to the left.

Naruto grinned, thinking of how Sasuke was back in his dust. Whom popped up in front of him. Naruto halted. Red eyes seized control of his body.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

He saw Sasuke, but it was a different world behind them. Naruto spun around.

"Willy-Wonka, I'm in Candy land!" He exclaimed.

Gigantic candy-canes, river of chocolate, Tootsie logs, tart stepping stones, mountains of sugar, Carmel swamps, lollipop flowers, castle of candy-blocks, you name it. Swedish fish swam freely, chocolate-covered-turtles roamed aimlessly, gummy-worms wriggled. Apples dripped a mixture of nuts and Carmel. Sun-rising-Easter-colors softened the place's vibrant colors.

"Naruto."

"Did you mean for this to be a part of the tag?"

"No."

"Then what the heck?" He was about to disrupt his flow of chakra when he suddenly found himself tied up. Ropes of lickerish confined him to the top of a jolly-rancher table.

"Just have fun, will you?" Sasuke tried to feed Naruto a chocolate covered strawberry.

Naruto ate it, of course. "Sasuke, why did you use genjutsu on me?" He struggled to break free.

"Hmmm, why do you think?" He shook a can of whipping cream.

"I think you're gay!"

"Gay? No. Gay for Naruto, however . . . ," by Naruto's neck, he bit apart a variation of the red lickerish rope, a black lickerish chain. "That's a yes."

He climbed on top of the table, sitting on Naruto as he covered his body in whipped cream. He opened his mouth as a signal for Naruto to do the same, so he could fill his mouth with white fluff.

"Maybe he isn't so bad," Naruto thought out loud.

Sasuke sucked cream off Naruto, giving him shivers and goosebumps. Good goosebumps. after liking the rest off, he created a new line down to Naruto's candy underwear, taking a few bites. Naruto bit his cheek, trying not to get a boner.

"Want something to do with your mouth?" Sasuke held a piece of taffy between this teeth. He started kissing Naruto, Letting him nibble.

Sasuke laughed with his mouth closed as he saw Naruto enjoying himself. "Naruto, what's your favorite candy?"

"Uh . . . I like peppermint and bubblegum flavor," He debated whether or not to escape the genjutsu, unsure that he wanted to leave . . . .

Sasuke held a candy dildo with peppermint markings in front of Naruto's face. He laughed.

"What the hell, get that away from me!"

"Taste it."

"No, It's gay!"

"Why are you so difficult? One moment you like it, the next you get mad at me! Do you like me or not!"

Naruto broke free of the kekegenkai. The image of candy land shattered like glass, then fell, bit by bit to reveal the true world. They were facing each other, neither making eye contact.

" . . . so that's your answer, huh?" He got quieter as he said it. Sasuke waited like a cloud, for an answer, but fled like lighting without a response.

Naruto buried his face in his hands.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Five, Part Two: Getting Serious<span>

Naruto hadn't seen Sasuke for over a week. Well, he had seen him, but he ran away. Word was he looked depressed. Naruto got to see first hand what they meant.

One afternoon, Naruto was walking when he spotted Sasuke. Sasuke has no expression as they made eye contact over distance. He turned around and walked away from the direction Naruto was in, just as emotionless as his face. Naruto ran up to him.

"Sasuke! where have you been?" No response. "Hey, earth to Sasuke?"

Sasuke continued walking, oblivious to the most obnoxious.

"Sasuke? Sasuke? Sasuke? Sasuke? Sasuke? Sa-" The catatonic behavior was not disturbed.

"I'm going to follow you until you answer me." No response. Figured.

Sasuke was taking a path that lead to his house. "I'm going to come in your house if you don't talk."

Sasuke made no attempt to stop him from entering. He took off his shoes mechanically, then walked robotically to his bed room. He gracefully, but lifelessly, lied down on the bed.

"Talk to me, teme," He stood in the doorway. Sasuke closed his eyes. Inanimate flesh.

"If you aren't going to talk to me, then I'll keep talking until you do,"

"What's wrong?"

"Come on, why are you acting like this?"

"You can talk to me. I'll listen!"

" . . . You did creep me out earlier, but I'm over that now. You're my friend. You're a part of me that can't be replaced. I can't just leave you like this. I don't know how to make things right, and I don't know why you're acting like this, but if it has anything to do with me, then just say so."

"Yes." He almost jumped, it was so unexpected.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know."

" 'care to elaborate on that?' "

"I'm trying to stop my feelings for you."

"How's that coming along?"

"Futilely."

Naruto sat on the side of the bed, neither uttering a word.

After a while, Sasuke spoke up. "Did you know that the subconscious mind communicates in pictures? Dreams tell us about ourselves, what we may not consciously realize." He held raised his hand, elbow resting on the bed, "Enter my dreams, Naruto. If you do, you will understand. Enter my dreams and know who I am."

Naruto staired wide eyed the request. He saw a hand, and honest eyes boring into him. Naruto lifted his hand, hesitating. Sasuke staired indifferent, only watching. Naruto placed his hand on top of Sasuke's. A rush of black filled everything.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Naruto found himself in a ballroom.

(See the note at the top of the chapter.)

People wearing warm, faded colors and masks danced around the room; a daze captivated all, a glow that fogged consciousness; everyone was carefree, dancing and laughing; everyone but Naruto, who felt out of place, searching for it.

Gracefull dancers obscured view of what lay yonder, as Naruto wandered. He became aware of music. He did not hear it with his ears, yet it was there, existing on another level. A haunting, sad but optimistic, soft melody; His heart ached from it.

A man wearing a red mask with a long nose laughed with a woman with a mask that revealed red lips. The mascarade was increased by the mirrored, dome wall. There were low chandeliers that sparkeled. Some laughed with a laughing snake from a box.

Amid the elegant chaos Naruto saw a masked man with a familiar stance. He was wearing a dark navy suit with glittering beads, and a frilly, white shirt.

Sasuke.

He lowered the smooth, horned facade. He stared at Naruto.

Naruto walked to him. He saw a few heads turn to look in his direction.

_There's such a sad love,_  
><em>Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel,<em>  
><em>Opened and closed within your eyes,<em>  
><em>I'll place the sky within your eyes.<em>

A passing woman in a big purple dress passed between them. Sasuke had disappeared.

Naruto searched for Sasuke. He gently touched the people in his way as leverage to pass through.

_There's such a fooled heart,_  
><em>Beating so fast in search of new dreams,<em>  
><em>A love that will last within your heart,<em>  
><em>I'll place the moon within your heart.<em>

He passed a woman with a creme mask, holding up a white feathered fan. Unknowingly, she lowered the fan once he passed. Sasuke smiled behind it.

_As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you,_  
><em>Every thrill is gone,<em>  
><em>Wasn't to much fun at all,<em>  
><em>But I'll be there for you,<em>  
><em>As the world falls down.<em>

Naruto found Sasuke watching him from a distance, dancing with the woman wearing the creme mask. He dismissed her, a chance for Naruto to approach. They didn't break sight of the other as they rendezvoused.

Sasuke held out his arms to dance. Naruto held Sasuke's hand, either hands on the other's waist. They began to spin, slower than everyone else. Sasuke mouthed the words.

_I'll paint you mornings of gold,_  
><em>Spin you valentine evenings,<em>  
><em>Though we're strangers 'till now,<em>  
><em>We're choosing the path between the stars,<em>  
><em>I'll leave my love Between the stars.<em>

Naruto and Sasuke spun. Naruto wondered what was in his eyes; what ever it was, it was deeper, hiding. They looked at each other forever, occasional masks turning to see them.

"Sasuke, what's behind your eyes?"

Sasuke only gave him the same look, continuing their dancing.

The look was listless, watching. This wasn't Sasuke. This wasn't the Sasuke Naruto knew.

"Sasuke?"

He remained silent, like before.

Naruto, trusting his intuition, broke from Sasuke. The dancers all watched him, eyes peering behind their fake faces. Naruto shoved through them; he had to escape. He had to go somewhere right, do something right. He ran up a few shallow steps.

He found his way to the edge of the floor. The giant dome with his morphed reflection contained him in the small world. The people were gathered around him, watching.

He had to find a way to somewhere else.

He saw a chair. He grabbed it and threw it with all his might at the wall. The mirror shattered. Sharp fragments flew back, revealing blackness.

Gravity became the focus of fear as the dome started tipping. The pale floor became a wall, and traversed to become the ceiling. The dancers, along with Sasuke remained on the floor, as Naruto was the only one slipping to the blackness. The last thing he saw was Sasuke's face, looking down at him, expressionless.

Naruto was in the blackness. He found his footing and began to walk. There was nothing in sight, but it seemed his determination summoned something up ahead for him. It was a doorway. He ran to it.

On the other side was a black and white world. Behind him was a black void. He entered.

A long, field of short grey grass lead to a hill in the center. Distant landscape of mountains and trees looked flat, with the same lack of color. The sky was a light grey. He saw a black and white figure lying on the hill.

Naruto ran toward Sasuke. He realized on his way, that where ever he walked, an unseen circle under him colored the grass. He approached Sasuke, a green path behind.

Sasuke had the same lifeless appearance as the world. Naruto tried to touch him, to give him color, but found himself unable to. A law of the land kept him from doing so.

_If I color the ground, maybe it will spread._

He colored the ground, not missing a spot. He wrote his name in empty space. He found he could not venture beyond the bottom of the hill level with the rest of the world. The doorway from which he entered was gone. Once he filled the entire hill, the color quickly spread, illuminating the landscape, blooming flowers. Color permeated the sky as well. Naruto ran back to Sasuke.

Sasuke was still black and white.

"Sasuke, why are you still like this?" Naruto was upset psychologically. "Come on, what do I have to do?"

Sasuke's body made it's first movement; it opened it's mouth. Inside was black. Water began to surface. A steady stream spilled from the corners of his mouth.

Naruto followed his hunch. He dove in.

Naruto was in water. It was dark and he couldn't see much. He saw a light coming from above. he began to swim upward, but turned around to see Sasuke sinking. Sasuke's eyes were closed. He made no movement. His arms and legs outstretched, he descended to darkness.

Naruto swam at him, trying to reach him. How could he sink so fast? Naruto fought the water, losing bubbles of air. Naruto could finally grab Sasuke's limp body. He held it close with one arm. With the other arm he reached for the top, paddling with strength. He broke the surface.

With a gasp of air, he brought Sasuke's face up so he could breathe too. His eyes slowly opened, air moving through his lips.

Naruto found he could climb to the surface of the water. He pulled Sasuke out, holding him. The water stilled, became a crystallized layer, then vanished, leaving the two in a new black void.

Sasuke's eyes opened completely. He tugged Naruto's sleeve to let him know he could set him down.

He stood on his own. He had Sasuke's normal face.

"Thank you."

"It's good to hear you."

"Do you know where we are?"

Naruto shook his head.

"We are at the the innermost phase of our minds that can still communicate. In other words, this is the closest we can get to being our true selves while still being able to talk to one another. This is intimacy in the closest possible way."

"So we can be honest?"

"Yes. I will not judge you. Say or ask anything you want."

"How come you were so depressed?"

"I was unhappy with what I was doing. I tried having fun with you as a way to satisfy what I felt. However, you would pull away, and that was my greatest fear. I with drew from myself so I wouldn't feel the pain."

"So you aren't going cut off from yourself anymore?"

"No. You helped me recognize what I was doing by pulling me out of the water."

Naruto asked, "What are you thinking about me?"

Sasuke sorted his thoughts, stairing in Naruto's eyes. "I am glad you care enough about me to do all of what you have just done."

There was a silence. Sasuke spoke up, "What are you thinking about me?"

Naruto thought for a little while. "I accept your feelings, and I won't judge you for it, either."

"Do you return my feelings?"

"I don't know."

A red door with a sliding lock appeared.

"In this door are all the emotions I've withheld." He unlocked the door, then it slowly swung open. "You can experience them to, If you'd like." Sasuke had a soft face.

Sasuke was more open than Naruto had ever known him. Not only that, he seemed carefree. Naruto had found that he himself was a lot more calm, with less expectations.

"Yeah."

They entered. Sasuke closed his eyes as red smog whirled around his body. Naruto felt Emotions much like his own. From anger to sadness, Naruto learned about Sasuke through feeling.

Then, a new, light feeling came. It was exhilarating. His soul felt lifted while his body was grounded. A bliss unknown pulsed through his veins, cleansing every aspect of his self. It was happy, warm, active, eternal, understanding, accepting, caring, with something fresh and signature about it. It was necessary. It was an answer to the questions of other emotions. It was alive.

And he only had a lick of it.

The only problem was that it came with an equal opposite. Where there was hope, there was also despair. Where there was growth, there was inanimation. It was a hunger, empty without remedy; as if one was drowning without a place to escape for air. A lot like the water from before.

Naruto noticed how these two feelings didn't belong together; infact, the dark one didn't need to be there at all. But it was a result, a consequence, tied with the great one.

"Sasuke, what is that feeling?"

"It's love."

"That's love?"

"Yes. My love for you."

The feeling came back to him. This was how he could feel eternity with Sasuke. It was contagious. The red smog departed from him.

"Then, what is the sad one with it?"

"The one I tried to pull away from. A depression from repressed love."

"But, why would you want to repress-" Naruto now realized just what Sasuke was going through.

Sasuke cringed, feeling the empty consequence. Naruto hated to see him suffer from it. He ran to fill the gap between them, squatting over his legs, and gave him a hug.

"Is this helping?" He felt the answer. The answer was warm, but there was so much more depression to be dealt with.

Sasuke hugged him back, relieving more pent up emotion. Naruto felt the heart's relief.

Sasuke and Naruto made eye contact. Naruto knew everything he felt about him that moment. He knew how just much he had held back. Naruto knew love in action, when faced before the focus of the love. He knew how Sasuke felt he had to withdraw. He knew how he needed something back, and the hurt, the starving, the guilt that resulted. He knew how love was the best, but how the worst would creep in afterwards.

He felt a desire, one he didn't want to approach satisfying, but longed for. Naruto knew what it was.

Naruto put his lips to Sasuke's.

Surprise, pleasure, lust, wonderment, fulfillment. An emotional train Naruto could take a ride on.

Naruto's own emotions were of happiness, euphoria, and a romantic one that burst into existence. It made his stomach crawl from pleasure. It made him excited.

The kiss echoed in the blackness, growing. Sasuke bit and sucked, Naruto complementing him back. Sasuke licked Naruto's lips, asking for entrance. A tongue darted out to greet another, feeling their handshake. Naruto felt Sasuke's even teeth as he liked across the upper oral bones. Sasuke entered Naruto mouth forcefully, massaging their tongues together.

They didn't need to breathe. Breathing now was to kiss. If the thought of pulling away had come from either of them, they would have realized it would be impossible to break away. Not yet.

Sasuke pulled Naruto down with him as he laid back. Naruto took charge, making things hot and wet. Sasuke liked Naruto's style; it was as if he knew how to share the essence of Naruto while kissing.

"N-Naruto" He breathed heavily.

"What's up, Sasuke?"

"I'm waking us up."

Naruto gave him a passionate peck before things went completely black. He felt himself lifted through the blackness, a calm place. He opened his eyes.

Sasuke was already looking at him. Naruto was back, sitting on the bed. Sasuke was lying down. Their hands connected, one on top of the other. They were frozen. It wasn't until nature sent wind to fondle their hair did one stir.

'I'm glad you didn't give up." Naruto leaned in.

"How could I?" Sasuke parted his lips for the kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>Awwwww! I didn't plan on this happening. But I like it! Stay tuned for more Konoha drama. Steamy sex, jealousy, annoyance from 'neighbors' and much, much more awaits! maybe even a second book. Review, please, thanks!<strong>


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